DumbestofAsses
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Recent works
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Pyotr the cooler than Rex Lapis rock! by tartaglialover (DumbestofAsses)
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
24 Dec 2025
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Summary
The tempest grew as Osial raged, but this was not the fiercest battle on the top of the mountain at the moment.
"This is the end of the line, Pyotr," Zhongli held steady onto his resolve as he threw Pyotr off the mountain, yes Childe would be upset but there was no other way. He had to get rid of him!
Pyotr the, completely inanimate, Rock ends up falling and hitting a treasure hoarder who was using the storm as an opportunity for robbery. The treasure hoarder's sunglasses fall and land on Pyotr the Rock as he gets knocked out, making Pyotr look really cool.
"You saved me again, Pyotr!" Childe cried as he was rushing out, still weak from his battle with the Traveller.
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Au where Childe gets super attached to this one random rock bc of his trauma from the abyss, and by the time he was in the fatui, it upgraded to best friend. Everyone else suffers 1 million psychic damage.
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Jason Todd's very literal analysis of crime by BatsyForHire (DumbestofAsses)
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)
02 Dec 2025
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Summary
"Jason. Please. this isn't the way..."
"This is the only way!"
"There are better ways to write essays! You don't have to prove it yourself!"
"No. I need to kill him for my literary analysis."
"WHAT LITERATURE!?!?!"
"The crime report that is about to be made in like 2 weeks, it's a metaphor for capitalism."
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Au where my only thought process was "what if I make under the redhood peak funny"
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Co-President Mandy tossed a piece of fabric at him, "Put this on your school uniform."
Robert inspected the band in his hand, "What's this?"
"Student Council band!"
Robert choked on his spit, "When did I agree to that?!"
"How else were you going to handle the Z-club and graduate early?"
Robert has never been to school before, but he's pretty sure he could file a complaint to HR- do they have HR in schools?
or
A young Track Star takes in a recently orphaned Robert, heroism ensues. Too much heroism, in fact. To save everyone's sanity Robert is sent to this new Hero/anti-villain High School thing and has to join the Z club, with the 'villain risk' kids, if he wants to high tail it out of there and become Mechaman to catch the escaped Shroud as fast as he can... but why are these guys growing on him?
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Hero rankings arent the same worldwide (Except for All Might) by tartaglialover (DumbestofAsses)
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga), 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
03 Feb 2025
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Summary
Overhaul has been terrorizing the streets of Japan for too long... They need to take a bigger step in their investigation! Enter Tartaglia, no 11 hero on the Russian rankings, spent 3 months interning under an International Hero. Russia's youngest hero...
Midoriya just wants to become a hero! Oh and for people to stop following him...
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Rumors are the most reliable news source by tartaglialover (DumbestofAsses)
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
03 Feb 2025
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Summary
“Oh I used to have periods! Not anymore tho!” Childe said laughing and patted him on the back before leaving.
Felix stood there for a full few seconds just processing the words before it hit him.
OH! MY! GOD! LORD TARTAGLIA IS PREGNANT!?!?
Recent bookmarks
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Ports Bakery by RedStarfish
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics)
31 Jan 2024
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Summary
Jason is a baker. Nothing more, nothing less. So why the heck was Red Robin sitting outside of his shop?
Baker!Jason meets RedRobin!Tim AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,166
- Chapters:
- 42/?
- Comments:
- 1,848
- Kudos:
- 5,000
- Bookmarks:
- 1,008
- Hits:
- 99,093
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
21 Dec 2025
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Summary
“You know, if you turn me over to the social workers, well… the chances of a kid my age findin’ a decent home are slim–”
“Don’t bet on it, Robin.”
“Robin?” Jason’s head whips around and he stares at Batman in horror, “Robin!?”
Batman’s smile falters, and he starts explaining slowly, “Yes, you’ve proved yourself quite a lot tonight, young man. I think you’d make an excellent Ro–”
“Fuck that!”
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Jason, very aggresively, says No to being Robin. This spirals into quite the different life for everyone in the Batfamily!
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
21 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Fuck.”
“That’s not a nice word.”
Tim’s head snaps up, his weapon drawn immediately. Sitting criss cross applesauce on his bed is… a little girl?
“Uh… how did you get in here?” Tim asks slowly.
She gives him an inquisitive look, clearly unbothered by the situation, and points at the ceiling. “Through the portal.”
OR: When girl kid versions of Tim and Jason pop into their lives from another dimension, they have to learn how to be parents. After moving in together, coparenting two little girls together, and accidentally forming a fake relationship, they somehow fall in love along the way.
Series
- Part 1 of M&M
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 106,588
- Chapters:
- 45/45
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,897
- Kudos:
- 3,505
- Bookmarks:
- 697
- Hits:
- 80,025
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
21 Dec 2025
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Summary
"What the hell happened? I'm fuckin' tiny!" All Jason had on was his Wonder Woman shirt from earlier, and that was just barely staying on. Jason slumped against the wall, feeling the frustration bubble in his chest. He was tiny, injured, confused, nearly naked, and alone in an alley. This wasn't good.
"I found him!" a voice shouted at the same time as light showered over Jason from above. He looked up quickly in shock. He knew that voice.
'You have got to be kidding me.' Jason thought. The light lowered slightly and he saw the smiling face of the one and only Officer Dick Grayson above him.
More Batfamily members shall appear later on!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 138,922
- Chapters:
- 32/?
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,566
- Kudos:
- 5,282
- Bookmarks:
- 1,165
- Hits:
- 151,631
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
16 Dec 2025
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Summary
The Bats were dead and Dick was the only one left alive. He had nothing left for him so why shouldn’t he join them?
Waking up back in time was not the plan but Dick wasn’t complaining. He finally has his family back and he will not lose them again.
Robin has always been able to do what Batman couldn’t. It was okay that Bruce won’t kill. Dick wouldn’t ask him to compromise his morals.
But he had no such restrictions. He doesn’t mind killing, getting his hands dirty, and being a monster if it means his family is alive.
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Or a Dark Dick Grayson who is just a tad overprotective of his family. Just a tad.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 101,202
- Chapters:
- 21/?
- Collections:
- 28
- Comments:
- 3,018
- Kudos:
- 12,178
- Bookmarks:
- 3,878
- Hits:
- 406,435
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
14 Dec 2025