KMoche



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    There is a strong scent of antiseptic in the air, the kind that always haunts hospitals and morgues. Ilya thinks it is fitting. He thinks, perhaps, that some vital organ of his is failing irreparably, and he is only waiting for a doctor to call out his time of death.

    “You have lost your memories.” It’s not a question. Ilya’s burning hand drops from Shane’s cheek.

    “Yeah,” Shane says easily. “Wait, shit, did no one tell you?”

    “Is it temporary.” Ilya’s voice is hoarse, pleading. “This memory loss, is it… tell me that it is temporary.” Please, please, God. I know I promised to give anything up, but-

    Shane looks at Ilya with wide eyes. “They don’t know,” he says gently. He seems to be catching onto Ilya’s distress despite the drugs in his system.

    Ilya feels cold all over. Yes, any moment now, they will cover him with a white sheet and take him away.

    Shane's concussion in S01E05 leaves him missing his memories from the last decade. Ilya is now the only person in the world who knows the truth about him and Shane, and is forced to question whether to burden Shane with their complicated relationship or to walk away.

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    26 Apr 2026

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    “Can you still stay the night?”

    “Yes,” Ilya says quickly, nodding into Shane’s neck. “I will stay the night.”

    I will stay forever, he doesn’t say. Just ask me, and I will do it.

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    17 Apr 2026

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    “It’s my special night, Rozanov. I want you to watch me.” Ilya looks at Shane like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “I want… I want you to sit there and watch me touching myself,” Shane’s cheeks flush, “and I want you to be good for me and stay put.”

    or,

    Vegas, 2021. Shane wins MVP and makes Ilya watch.

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    13 Apr 2026

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    Shane pulls back, carefully cradling Ilya’s face. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”

    “You don’t want to?” Ilya’s eyes are bottomless; swimming with grief. He says it like he really means, You don’t want me?

    “That isn’t what I mean,” Shane says gently, brushing his thumb over Ilya’s cheekbone. Ilya’s eyes flutter shut, as if being treated so tenderly causes him physical pain. Like he isn’t used to it. “You’re hurting. I don’t want you to regret it in the morning.” 

    Ilya’s eyes open. “I have never regretted a moment with you.”

    *

    Or: the missing hotel room scene in Florida after Shane comforts Ilya.

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    13 Apr 2026

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    “You didn’t like it the last time we tried it,” Shane said.

    Ilya gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Was years ago. Maybe it is an acquired taste, like licorice.”

    “You also don’t like licorice,” Shane pointed out.

    “Yes, but I keep trying it because Luca likes it so much.”

    “And then you make a face and tell him how awful it is.”

    “When have I ever told you your dick is awful?” Ilya said, looking mildly offended. “I am its number one fan.”

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    12 Apr 2026