MagicalMi



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The internet has decided that Ilya Rozanov is absolutely, definitely, 100% banging a Hollander.

    They’ve got photo evidence. Multiple sightings. Instagram stories from the same café. The man stayed OVERNIGHT at the Hollander residence.

    It’s the most legendary power move in NHL history: seduce your rival’s hot mom to assert dominance. There’s just one tiny problem with this theory. Ilya’s fucking a Hollander, all right. Just … not that one.

    Or in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever.

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    24 Mar 2026

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    “It’s true,” Rose says. “Shane was an amazing boyfriend. See, that’s what I miss. I just need to find someone who’s an amazing boyfriend and actually wants to sleep with me.”

    “Okay, Rose,” Ilya says. “You have come to right place. I will solve your problem. We will go out and find you straight or bi or pan guy to fuck.”

    Shane groans. “I am not going out to find Rose a guy to fuck.”

    “I know you are not,” Ilya says. “I was not inviting you.”

    ---

    Or, Ilya and Svetlana take Rose out to find her a boyfriend who’s into women. Ilya and Rose are photographed leaving the club together, leading people to speculate that they’re dating.

    Shane handles the whole thing so well.

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    10 Mar 2026

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    Shane volunteers to be mic'd up on his first game against the Voyageurs in his first season with the Centaurs. What could go wrong?

    A lot... He hopes.

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    07 Mar 2026

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    “Never have I ever…” Bood was smiling so hard, it was almost hard to understand him as he fought to get the words out. He took a deep breath, attempting to regain his composure, and tried again. “Never have I ever gone down the Boston cop slide and, somehow, come out of the other end without any pants on.”

    If anyone asked, Ilya was blaming the fire for how his cheeks heated as everyone’s eyes flew to him.

    “I am going to kill Cliff Marlow,” he muttered darkly, taking a reluctant swig of vodka.

    -- Or: The Ottawa Centaurs play Never Have I Ever. It devolves into the Centaurs making fun of Ilya for all of the Boston shenanigans he got into before (and after) Shane made an honest man out of him

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    05 Mar 2026

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    27 Feb 2026