thegreenempty



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Recent series

  1. Summary

    A mostly crackfic series that asks, what if Shane and Ilya were slightly out of character? Shane is bitchier, Ilya is manic and philosophical, Cliff Marleau and the Boston boys take turns babysitting their crashing-out captain, and Shane finally gets recognized as the pretty, funny, sassy player he is.

    Nothing is too serious about this, it's a mix of show and book canon, and a healthy dose of fanon (himbo king Cliff). Ilya is allowed to catch feelings early, as a treat and Shane is allowed to let his inner mean girl out.

    Please enjoy these silly boys and their silly relationships! Four works so far with more to come! How much more? I don't know! They keep doing silly things and my brain keeps writing it down.

    Thanks for reading! 💕

    Words:
    36,754
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1,975
  2. Words:
    1,156
    Works:
    2
  3. Words:
    45,865
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    25

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane texts, “Hi! Are you free tonight? I know it’s soon but we’re leaving town tomorrow for a few days, and I’d love to see you.”

    Ilya would have made fun of him for that message. Ilya would have just gotten a “come over.” Ilya would have responded “where is romance, Hollander?” and Shane would say, “I’m fucking starting without you.” And Ilya would be at his door in 20 minutes.

    Shane doesn’t think that would work on Sveta.

    Or: What if Svetlana were Rose Landry?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,481
    Chapters:
    6/9
    Comments:
    872
    Kudos:
    988
    Bookmarks:
    208
    Hits:
    14,126

    29 Sep 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    icopythefax does it AGAIN! Now we have a post-tuna melt Shane dating Sveta. Just kidding, she clocked him and broke it off with him, but still doesn't know that Ilya is Lily. And icopythefax gives us more of that incredible Hayden-Rozanov friendship we all really desperately need!

    THIS IS GOOD! WIP waiting ch7

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The truth was, yeah, Shane married Ilya, but he’d married hockey first. He married hockey the second he signed his rookie contract with the Metros, and his courtship began long, long before. And his marriage to hockey wasn’t like his marriage to Ilya. Hockey wouldn’t ever love him back. Ilya wasn’t going to chew Shane up and spit him out at some nebulous point after he turned thirty and before he turned forty, his joints busted and his mouth full of dentures and his brain fucked to hell and back. And that marriage—his first marriage—had always come before his second, illicit shotgun wedding.

    It wasn’t ideal, maybe, but that was just how things were. Hell, it was probably the same for Ilya, too. The fuck was Shane supposed to do about it? Nothing, nothing, nothing. He liked his life just the way it was. He didn’t want to do anything different. He still doesn’t. And that’s the worst, most shameful part of it all: at the end of the day, some part of Shane will always wish he could wind back time like adjusting a watch; erase that Instagram post before it ever hit the internet and go back to the life they’d had before; the life that was slowly killing them both.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,089
    Chapters:
    10/11
    Comments:
    1,029
    Kudos:
    1,454
    Bookmarks:
    358
    Hits:
    34,878

    14 Aug 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    WIP, waiting ch 11

    Alternate timeline for marriage and outing. Married in the far north back in 2017, outed at Scott’s wedding 4 years later. Now living in a house halfway btwn Ottawa and Montreal, Hayden very much making it abt him, Shane’s fears still eating him alive (can you blame him??). And now the fucking plane crash

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane and Ilya collide on the ice in 2008, and Shane's career is over before it begins.

    In 2014, when they meet each other in a club in Boston, Ilya wants to make it up to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,933
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    2,139
    Kudos:
    10,028
    Bookmarks:
    2,603
    Hits:
    102,803

    20 Sep 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    The one with a fucking PhD in Ilya Rozanov's feelings of usefulness, caregiving, providing, and self-worth. Ilya shatters Shane's hip at World Juniors, ending his hockey career. They reconnect after Ilya's first cup, and the feelings of guilt, blame, desire, HOCKEY, and love? Hell yeah, baby! LOL @ Kip being like, "you realize he's like, a proxy for you to continue playing hockey and it's really fucked up?" and Shane's like "yeah, and...?"

    The fic rightfully takes Kip to task on his weird issues around his wealthy boyfriend's money. Fic is very normal abt Shane being a sugar baby and still does an excellent exploration of the WHY and the WANT and self-worth of it all around the sugar baby stuff. GREAT read!

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Cliff Marlow is not gay. He's not. Seriously. He'd know, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,356
    Chapters:
    19/20
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    533
    Kudos:
    811
    Bookmarks:
    223
    Hits:
    23,581

    22 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Cliff Marleau vs gender - WIP waiting ch 20

  5. Public Bookmark 88

    Tags
    Summary

    Everyone in the Metros' locker room knew to avoid raunchy talk with uptight Shane Hollander. But now that he's out and gay married to Ilya Rozanov, surely that can change?

    OR:

    Hayden has a vision in which he has inducted Shane into the Metros’ casual sex chats and opened Shane’s eyes to all the fun tricks that girls and maybe also guys can enjoy in bed. And finally Rozanov is coming to Hayden, his eyes full of gratitude, and saying, “Hayden, my friend, thank you! Our mutually beloved Shane, who I love very dearly for his personality and impeccable stick handling, has always been a little shy in bed. But now! With your encouragement!” The Rozanov of Hayden’s ecstatic vision puts a disbelieving hand to his own chest. “Everything between us is better. I no longer miss the casual sex I frequently had with every single man and woman in the greater Boston metro area. Even with my questionable character, I am never tempted to cheat! So, do you and the family want to come to the cottage with us for a full week this summer?”

    Why yes, Hayden thinks, smiling beatifically at his own imagined scenario. He would love to go to the cottage for a full week to hang out with his best friend and enjoy built-in childcare.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,399
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    919
    Bookmarks:
    88
    Hits:
    4,899

    12 Oct 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Hayden POV as he realizes Shane is a fucking freak and Ilya will MURDER HIM if he lets Shane figure that out

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