Chapter Text
(enter Friar Lawrence)
FRIAR LAWRENCE:
Plants, my babies. I am such a proud Plant Papa.
(enter Romeo)
ROMEO:
Friar! Friar!
(Romeo collapses on the floor)
FRIAR LAWRENCE:
I–
ROMEO:
I just had the best night ever.
FRIAR LAWRENCE:
You don’t look like you slept at all. Were you up with Rosaline?
ROMEO:
Who?
FRIAR LAWRENCE:
Not again…
ROMEO:
Oh, Rosaline! Yeah, no, I’m in love with Juliet Capulet and we kinda need you to get us married. In secret. Cuz otherwise we’ll get in trouble.
FRIAR LAWRENCE:
Wow. Um. That's a lot to unpack. You literally just got over Rosaline in three seconds, and moved onto a different girl. Are you sure you love her? Are you sure she even loves you?
ROMEO:
Oh yes. I can feel it in my bones that I love her.
FRIAR LAWRENCE, aside:
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not the only place.
ROMEO:
And she was the one who suggested getting married.
FRIAR LAWRENCE:
The Lord really cursed us with two of you.
ROMEO:
So will you marry us?
FRIAR LAWRENCE:
Well, I doubt this could go disastrously wrong… and it could stop this whole feuding… so, sure.
ROMEO:
YES. THANK YOU!
(Romeo runs out, and falls over)
FRIAR LAWRENCE:
How about you take a nap first.
ROMEO:
NAH