15 Works in Keeping Up with the Cattons
Listing Works
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“Sorry I'm late, don, got a little carried away returning to these halls- always was a maze! Sir Felix Ca-ahh.”
He'd lunged forward with a hand outstretched, ready to shake as the professor had straightened up. He turned in his chair lazily, freezing Felix in an awkward, half-bent position with those chilly blue eyes. There was a long moment as Oliver Quick observed him, no expression on his face, before a small smile made his mouth twitch. “It's good to see you, Felix. You look well.”
Felix Catton is a happily married father of three teenagers, approaching 40, and he hasn't seen Oliver since his unfortunate overdose... Everything should be perfect. Everything is perfect.
Until Felix's oldest daughter wants him to smooth things over with her tutor- and he finds himself face-to-face with Professor Oliver Quick. He's older. Wiser. Sensible. He doesn't lie any more.
And so what harm could reconnecting with an old friend do?
Sorry, Lu, but Ollie and I have this very sudden and intense psychosexual thing going on, and if I don't explore it I might go absolutely out of my mind, start clawing at the walls. You understand, don't you, Darling?
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CattonQuick art dump, including:
☆ more SFW than you might expect!
☆ NSFW!
☆ Some Farleigh!
☆ Doodles and full pieces!
☆ A few little comics! -
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The Saltburn Bitches Porn Trope Challenge!
Felix Catton and Oliver Quick star as
The Missionary and The Sinner:The door opened, and Felix launched into his speech. “Good Mow… Morning. I'm Felix Catton, and I have good news!”
The other chap didn't speak; he just blinked. He had bright blue eyes that made Felix feel a little chilly. He was about Felix's age- home alone?- but a lot shorter. Dark hair, pale, wearing a vest and boxer shorts, a silver chain around his neck. He scuffed one foot on the dingy carpet, and Felix wasn’t sure what to do, except continue.
“Have you heard that Jesus is coming back?”
“Is he?”
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Saltburn Bitches Porn Trope Challenge 2: Slasher/Camp Counsellor.
Felix Catton is a fast runner, but he can't get away from what's hunting him.He stopped at the foot of the bed, one hand resting upon one of the posts. The painted wood was smooth under his fingers, the waistband of his shorts digging into his stomach, sweat making his t-shirt cling to his back. There was a patch of darker darkness by the door, tucked in behind one of the long curtains. He hadn't seen it, the light filtering through the window making it easier to focus on things closer to him, but now he was closer there was a definite shape to it. It reminded Felix of a mannequin, faceless and so still, but they didn't have a mannequin in their bedroom. Why would they? It'd spook Felix out dreadfully, he didn't even really trust them in shops, and Madam Tussaud's was right out…
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Assorted ficlets and drabbles
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“With all due respect, sir, I am the last member of staff remaining. Without me-”
Oliver laughed. It was humorless, dry as the wind through the blackened remnants of the maze. No gardeners to maintain the hedges; they’d grown wild until Oliver had found enough petrol to set the whole thing ablaze. It had burned for three nights, and it was a miracle the fire brigade hadn't shown up. It was also a miracle that the house hadn't burned down. Duncan had seen Oliver out there, standing before the fire, and had hoped he'd simply walk into it and be done. Immolate himself.
“Without you. I don’t need you. Fussy old prick.”
Duncan is alone in Saltburn with a monster, and he resolves to destroy it. -
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At first she hadn't believed that the thing in the bed was her brother. There'd been a plot, a scheme, Felix and Oliver had pulled off some weird heist and left them with a mannequin. There'd been some mistake, somewhere, and Felix was fine; had he done something really fucked up? Paid some penniless actor or homeless man with a vague similarity to have plastic surgery and get copies of his tattoos? Why?
So he could disappear with Oliver fucking Quick.
Venetia's brother woke up, but he was different.
But that was alright.
He deserved it.
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“Go on. Get it on, Olls, I promise I'll be right next to you all night. Besides, with me next to you… Who's going to be eyeing up your pasty legs?” Felix lifted his chin, snooty and self-assured. Oliver tried not to laugh, and Felix gave him a friendly whack on the shoulder. “Look, if it's still too much, just pretend it's a kilt. Your neck of the woods is near Scotland, surely?”
“It really isn't, mate. No wonder you've got to be a slutty schoolgirl. You wouldn't pass Geography otherwise. Farleigh not the only one sucking off the teachers?”
“You're so harsh, Ollie.”
Felix Catton and Oliver Quick go on a themed night out.
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A summer job at Butlins was hardly prime time telly, but it was a start. Felix loved puppets. He'd been raised on Sooty and Sweep, Orville… Even Rod Hull and Emu. He'd put on sock puppet shows for his parents, who had applauded dutifully, and had clearly hoped he'd get over it. He hadn't, but he had learned to keep his passion hidden from them.
Felix is a promising amateur ventriloquist. Oliver is his puppet who wants to be a real boy. I am forcibly removed from the Butlins Head Office.
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Every Time You Say My Name I Think It's A Mistake by LeifLitter
Fandoms: Original Work, You're Almost Home
20 Apr 2024
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A little oneshot in the You're Almost Home canon, to explore how Harriet Catton and her boyfriend got together.
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“Think it's Italy this year. You'll love it. Nice, clean snow. Jacuzzi up at the lodge. Have you whizzing about in no time… And Italian totty. You think Oxford girls are fun? Wait til you've bagsied yourself a Bianca or a Lucia.”
Oliver frowned with a look that meant he was going to say no. Too expensive or he didn't know how to ski or… Felix did wish Ollie would just let him be nice, it was such a ballache having to batter down his walls every time Felix wanted to be impulsive. Once Oliver understood that Felix had money to burn and wanted to burn it, it would be so much easier.
Felix explains Italian Cheek Kissing to Oliver. That's it.
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“Are you fucking happy now, Felix?” Oliver hissed. His hands were fists, clenched, so beyond humiliation that he was incandescent with fury. It was worse that Ollie wasn't looking at him. Just at the wall, a dark stain showing where the wallpaper had peeled. “I told you. I fucking told you I couldn't come back here. What part of that did you not understand?"
“I just wanted…”
From a tumblr ask - what if Oliver hadn't lied about his upbringing?
It's not a fun one, pals.
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Another feel-bad drabble about Elspeth's... Time as a lesbian.
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“Why are you here, Felix?” Oliver was staying by the door. Felix was too dirty to go near, apparently. He looked towards the red glowing numbers on his alarm clock. “It’s… it's half two in the morning.”
“Why don't you like me anymore?”
What if Oliver didn't come to Felix's door after their little argument over Felix's gross room?
And what if Felix was very, very drunk and very sad about it?
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A little meetcute drabble to go with the little You're Almost Home canon - how Farleigh met his long-term long-distance low-commitment casual life partner.