so different from this hell i lived in
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As Phil passes behind Technoblade, he lightly places his hand on the top of the teen’s head- a mostly unconscious gesture, contact made dozens of times with a dozen different kids. Meaningless, just a ‘hey, this is where I’m at.’
Technoblade goes utterly stiff, crouching down a bit, ears flattening against his head. “Don’t,” he breathes, creaky and nearly silent.
Phil yanks his hand away like he’s been burned, coming around to crouch around the corner of the table where Technoblade can see him. “Don’t what?” he asks.
“Please,” Techno whispers. “Please don’t.”or, READ THE TAGS AND CONTENT WARNINGS.
Series
- Part 1 of so different from this hell i lived in
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Techno’s breath hitches. “I don’t feel brave.”
Phil cannot even fathom how much strength it would take to endure the things Techno has. “You are, I promise.” Phil leans a little more heavily on his arm on the bed. “And when this is over, no one will touch you again unless you say it’s okay.”
Techno pulls his face away, eyes red-rimmed and snot smeared under his nose (and probably all over Phil’s shirt, but it’s washable). “You- you mean it?” he asks, tiny and hopeful.
“Yeah, I do.” Phil is fully prepared to do whatever it takes to keep that promise, even if he has to spend the rest of his life watching over him. “I’m going to do everything I can to make sure nobody ever touches you again.”or, READ THE TAGS AND CONTENT WARNINGS
Series
- Part 2 of so different from this hell i lived in
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Techno’s bus stop is two blocks away from Phil’s house. Two blocks isn’t that far to walk, he can do that. It’s good exercise. It’s a public street, there are plenty of people around, nothing will happen.
But now.
Cassius is standing in the middle of the sidewalk, right in Techno’s way. He looks angry.
Techno can’t move.or, READ THE TAGS AND CONTENT WARNINGS
Series
- Part 3 of so different from this hell i lived in
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Techno hates sitting here, listening to police and doctors and everyone talk about what Cassius did to him. What other people did to him. He’s found himself slipping into blankness more and more often, letting his mind go distant from the courtroom. Only coming back to himself when Phil’s feathers lightly brush his arm.
Phil tries not to listen. He does not want to hear this, he doesn’t want to be privy to the horrors Techno not only hadn’t told him about, but had asked him to not listen to, when he talked to the police.
Phil can’t do anything but sit there and listen while Techno describes details. Which foster parent touched him. How they touched him. If it was just touch (not that the contact was ever ‘just’ that), or if there was an assault as well.or, READ THE TAGS AND CONTENT WARNINGS
Series
- Part 4 of so different from this hell i lived in
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Everything is too much all the time, and it hurts and Techno doesn’t know how to not be the thing that they all made him into.
Cassius is in prison, for a very long time. It’s over. It should be over.
It doesn’t feel like it’s over.
He wants to die. He can’t bear it anymore and he wants it over and he wants to die so he doesn’t have to feel this pain anymore.or, READ THE TAGS AND CONTENT WARNINGS
Series
- Part 5 of so different from this hell i lived in
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“The adoption paperwork finally went through.”
Techno’s eyes go wide. “What?”
Phil nods, clasping his hands in front of him. “Puffy’s gonna be here in a bit to talk to you about finalizing things.” He pauses. He needs to make absolutely sure that this is what Techno wants, because Phil will not be another person to force him into a situation where he feels pressured to say yes (or just, to not say no) to avoid negative consequences.
“If you want to say no, you can,” Phil says. “If you’re not ready, or even if you just don’t want to. You can say no. No one is going to force you to do this.”Read the tags and content warnings.
Series
- Part 6 of so different from this hell i lived in
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“What is your problem?”
Techno flinches away from Wilbur’s harsh tone. He can’t breathe for a second, petrified by fear.
“Wh- what?” he gets out, shaky and thin and terrified.
“I asked you what your problem is.” Wilbur folds his arms, scowling. “You keep ignoring me when I try to talk to you, you go out of your way to not interact with me, why do you keep doing that?”
Because Wilbur is everything Techno never got to be. Because Wilbur got to grow up safe and happy. Because Wilbur doesn’t know what it’s like.READ THE TAGS AND CONTENT WARNINGS.
Series
- Part 7 of so different from this hell i lived in
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“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” Phil squeezes his hand. “Techno, I just want you to be safe. I- I love you, mate.”
And Techno knew that, he did. That Phil loves him. But he never said it before.
It kind of stuns him. Finally hearing it.
“Love you too,” Techno whispers. “You’re my dad. I- I never knew what it was like to have a dad.”
“And I never thought I wanted a kid.” Phil laughs wetly. “I couldn’t ask for a better one.”Read the tags and content warnings.
Series
- Part 8 of so different from this hell i lived in
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“You did the right thing by telling me,” Sam says. “It means a lot that you did. Like I said, if you complete this program, you will almost certainly get custody of Wilbur back. Until then, I’ve found a good placement for him.”
“I know you can’t tell me details, but… can I ask?” Dory bites her lip. “At least, what the family’s like?”
“Yeah,” Sam says. “I wanted to talk to you about this, too, actually. I found Technoblade.”
Everything just stops.
“What?” she breathes.
“I can’t go into his history,” Sam says. The words I found Technoblade are still ringing in her ears. “I don’t know very much myself. Just that his old case worker was ignoring me, and all of your other siblings’ workers.Series
- Part 9 of so different from this hell i lived in
- Part 1 of rabbit au side content
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Half an hour later- papers signed, tears drying in his fur, hand still clasped securely in both of Phil’s- it’s official. He is now Techno Blade Craft- he’s Phil’s son. Phil is his dad.
Phil told Techno he could decide to keep his bio family’s last name. That if he wanted, the names could be hyphenated. Or that he didn’t have to take Phil’s last name at all, if he didn’t want to.
He doesn’t want to be Technoblade Soot anymore. That person only ever got hurt.
No matter how much therapy he does, no matter how many years go by since he last got assaulted- that kid is always going to be inside him. Scared and broken and beaten.
But this can be kind of like a new beginning.Read the tags and content warnings.
Series
- Part 10 of so different from this hell i lived in
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Techno hates being like this. Having panic attacks over something as simple as non-sexual physical contact. And Dr. Charles keeps saying that’s not Techno’s fault, but it still makes him feel like there’s something fundamentally broken inside him when he sees other people holding hands and hugging and touching each other without fear. When he watches his siblings tumble around without a care as to if they’re touching each other or slamming into each other.
And he feels bad too that he can’t let anyone touch him except Phil. That Phil is the only one who doesn’t have to ask first. Except that Phil proved from the beginning, from Techno’s first day here, that he wouldn’t touch him unless Techno said it was okay.
Dory’s been kind of normal with him. She’s cautious, but she doesn’t walk on eggshells around him. She pays attention and notices when he’s uncomfortable and does what she can to fix it.Read the tags and content warnings.
Series
- Part 11 of so different from this hell i lived in