Jupiter_Haven



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The pounding on the door is what jolts Shane awake. Instinctively he tries to jump to his feet and rush to get it, but a heavy weight around his torso and on top of his legs prevents him from moving. As consciousness slowly returns to him, breaking through the haze of his hangover—and possible still-drunken state—he realizes that he is being held by Rozanov.

    “Shane Hollander, open the door, now!”

    “Oh my god, oh my fucking god. Jesus fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking hell. That is my fucking mother.”

    OR

    After getting drunk at the 2016 NHL Awards, Shane Hollander wakes up married to Ilya Rozanov

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    17 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “They wanna ask you to step in!”
    “Step in where?”
    “As a guest co-commentator for the game against the Admirals!”
    “What?” Ilya looked over at Shane again as he parked the car in front of their apartment. Shane was basically jumping up and down in his seat. “They do know I'd shit talk like … all of them? For, like, the entire game?”
    “I think that's kinda the point, babe,” Shane grinned and leaned over to kiss Ilya on the cheek. “You'd be a spectacular hockey commentator!”

    or

    After his retirement Ilya gets the chance to become a co-commentator for a Centaurs vs Admirals game. He shit talks the entire time.

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    05 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that.
    Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too
    Scott: Wait, it's not you?
    Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪
    Eric: What?

    Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.

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    04 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Buck cautiously peers into the small opening, catching a glimpse of Eddie staring at himself in the mirror, fingers gripping the edge of the porcelain sink as he shakes his head and says, “I can’t believe I’m in love with a Buckley.”

    It's a miracle Buck doesn’t pass out on the spot.

    He takes a stumbling step back into Eddie’s room, somehow managing to close the door quietly in his haze. Although it’s entirely possible that he just slammed it because he can’t hear anything over the whooshing in his ears.

    He doesn’t know how he didn’t see it before.

    Eddie is in love with Maddie.

    -:-:-:-:-:-

    Or, 5 times Buck thinks Eddie is in love with Maddie, +1 time he's sure he's not.

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    6/6
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    20 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Or: the WAG Ilya thing.

    Words:
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    14 Jan 2026