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    “It’s okay. I don’t need anything.” 

    “I am not going to eat in front of you while you have nothing, Hollander,” Ilya scoffs. He plucks a can of cold ginger ale from the top shelf as casually as he can manage and slides it over the island, interrupting Hollander’s fidgeting thumbs. “You must be hungry, yes? It’s been hours since you left hotel. I can make something. Easy.” 

    “Make… what?” he asks warily.  

    Ilya rolls his eyes and tosses a look over his shoulder. “Do not worry. I will find something that works for your special hockey diet,” he teases. He reaches back into the fridge. “Tuna melt okay?” 

    “No,” Hollander says primly. “And it’s a disease. Not a diet.” 

    He pulls his hands out of the cold and turns, blinks. “What?” 

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    23 Jun 2026

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    “Perfectly fine. I’ll be good as new in a couple of days.” 

    “Good.” A moment of quiet on the other line. Shane could hear Ilya breathing. 

    “I love you so much. You know this, yes?”

    “Of course I do. And I love you too. I’ll see you…” Shane had to consider when the next day they could visit would be.

    "When you see me," Ilya supplied.

    “I'll see you when I see you. Okay. Sure.”

    “Bye, Shane."

    “Bye.”

    The Boxing Day argument doesn't happen, Ilya doesn't seek professional help, and he and Shane keep pretending everything's fine. In the last few weeks of the season, Ilya reaches a breaking point. After saving his boyfriend's life, Shane is forced to grapple with the broken pieces, figure out what went wrong, and try to slot everything back together again.

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    21 Jun 2026

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    “If I gave Jackie a day of getting to have sex with me whenever she wants as a thank you for tidying the living room, I think she’d divorce me,” Hayden says.

    “Nah, man, she’d kill you,” J. J. says, which is probably true.

    Shane shrugs. “That sounds like a straight people problem.”

    Hayden is truly glad that the times of Shane torturing himself by being in the closet are over. But. Well. This conversation is kind of making him miss those days.

    ---

    Finally, after everything, Shane is a happily married man. Incredibly happily married. It only becomes a problem once he thinks it qualifies him to dispense relationship advice.

    Or, five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.

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    09 Jun 2026

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    The pounding on the door is what jolts Shane awake. Instinctively he tries to jump to his feet and rush to get it, but a heavy weight around his torso and on top of his legs prevents him from moving. As consciousness slowly returns to him, breaking through the haze of his hangover—and possible still-drunken state—he realizes that he is being held by Rozanov.

    “Shane Hollander, open the door, now!”

    “Oh my god, oh my fucking god. Jesus fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking hell. That is my fucking mother.”

    OR

    After getting drunk at the 2016 NHL Awards, Shane Hollander wakes up married to Ilya Rozanov

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    17 May 2026

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    Based on a tumblr post from @notahungrywish, ending with:

    Just Shane casually assuming he'll always have to share and never be enough for Ilya and Ilya horrified to realize just how resigned Shane is to assuming Ilya will never be satisfied with him the way Shane is with Ilya.

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    05 May 2026