love_onthebrain
Recent bookmarks
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he turns off the big light by gurlsrool
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
31 Mar 2026
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Summary
Ilya knows firsthand that the world isn’t comfortable. It’s loud, bright, demanding, a harsh place in direct opposition to everything he’s recently learned about autism.
Is it so wrong that he wants Shane to feel safe here? To carve out a space where, even if only for a few hours, he doesn’t have to grin and bear anything? He can just be?
Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn’t one of them.
Bookmarked by love_onthebrain
01 Apr 2026
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corner of the world by berrycluv
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
31 Dec 2025
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Summary
Ilya doesn’t even realize when Arthur slips from his thoughts. There’s no sharp turn, no clear moment where the article stops being about a little boy who loves reptiles and starts being about the man lying beside him in bed. It just… happens. The way his mind always seems to find Shane eventually, like water finding its lowest point.
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a character study on shane’s undiagnosed autism
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,630
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 772
- Kudos:
- 20,535
- Bookmarks:
- 4,969
- Hits:
- 143,411
Bookmarked by love_onthebrain
12 Mar 2026
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you know this moment, don’t you? (time is strangely calm now) by barnes_romzanov
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
25 Dec 2025
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Summary
It’s dark, and Ilya’s not quite sure where he is.
His entire body is numb. His shoes are soaking wet from trudging lazily through the snow. His nose is running, and his lips are chapped.
Selfishly, he wishes Shane would fuss over him now. Pull him close, whisper “I forgive you” even though he shouldn’t, because Ilya would never change, because something inside him- in his family line, in his soul- was broken.
Ilya wondered how long ago it had clicked- when Shane had realized that Ilya wormed his way into this country and tricked the Hollanders into caring for him, then returned the favor by botching their language and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. He still can't help but wonder if that will be part of his punishment- being doomed to miss him in death, too.
or: Ilya’s mostly been able to cope with the fact that he’ll never be able to articulate himself fully in this country- but he’s also never been good at talking about feelings in the first place.
"I'm tired" is the best he's got. It definitely doesn't capture what's going on in his head, and Shane can't read minds.
Series
- Part 1 of Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,440
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 336
- Kudos:
- 3,957
- Bookmarks:
- 1,119
- Hits:
- 31,140
Bookmarked by love_onthebrain
09 Mar 2026
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Please, God, I'm finally loved by 17darwinism
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
01 Mar 2026
Summary
What happens when you're faced with the reality that love is not always enough to keep everyone going?
Set post The Long Game (book 6).
TW for suicide, descriptions of suicidal thoughts, depression.- Words:
- 44,275
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 579
Bookmarked by love_onthebrain
08 Mar 2026
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Tags
Summary
"Sveta," he says, before she can greet him. "I think I'm about to do something very stupid."
"You're always doing something stupid," she laughs, her voice tinny over the speakerphone. "What is it this time?"
"I am in a staring contest with a bottle of pills," Ilya says. "And I think the pills might win."
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Or: An alternate take on Ilya's mental health after moving to Ottawa, featuring the reality of long distance relationships, Ilya learning to captain a new team, and a series of game tapes made by Ilya's dead father.
Series
- Part 11 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,171
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 254
- Kudos:
- 4,994
- Bookmarks:
- 1,359
- Hits:
- 35,553
Bookmarked by love_onthebrain
06 Mar 2026