Starlit Tears
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Summary
I miss when he were what I had craved, what I longed for. I miss when we were something, not just a crossed-out sentence on a half-finished page. Back when we were different, back when I thought he loved me. Back when I was sure I loved him too. Chuuya would scream and I just stared, this was what needed to happen, I did this. I deserve this. But why does it hurt so much?
or
Dazai x "You're losing me" by Taylor Swift songfic
or
Dazai is trying but nobody treats him like a person and he lets them. Do not be Dazai.
(its better than it sounds I promise, sucking at writing summaries is one of my five major personality traits)Series
- Part 1 of Starlit Tears
- Part 1 of Etched in the stars
- Part 1 of The View Between Villages
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Summary
“You love him though?” Chuuya asked, his voice was as captivating as any award-winning movie.
“More than I thought I could,” Dazai admitted with his head in the crook of Chuuya’s neck.
“Sap,” A fake insult whispered directly into his ear made him shiver.
“That’s why you love me,” Dazai replied, voice slightly unsteady and body shivering slightly as Chuuya’s grip on his waist tightened.
The only response was a kiss mixed with a light laugh, and god if Dazai wasn’t already completely done for, he would have fallen right then and there.Or
Soukoku x Sweet Nothing by Taylor SwiftOr
They are gay and so obsessed with each other
This is the sequel to Stargazers but if Chuuya didn't take Mori's side and left the mafia
You could read this as a standalone or as part of the series so go nuts I guess
(Sorry to the two people who saw this before I remembered that this is in fact, a songfic)Series
- Part 2 of Starlit Tears
- Part 2 of Etched in the stars
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Summary
The words were muddled like a never-ending storm, it takes every raindrop to start a flood but only one lighting strike to end a life. Dazai could recall the smell of alcohol, curses, and pleas. The words “Whore” “Used” and “Plaything” were tossed around while he remembered staring blankly at the bathroom sink. Chuuya had tried to break down the door eight different times that night, all at varying levels of sober. He had always tried to live without the end when it came to Chuuya, but he guesses that Chuuya didn’t even care to read the first page before dotting the last period on worn paper. But now looking down at the unforgiving waves and lethal rocks he wonders if he would have let it happen again.
Or
Dazai thinks before killing himself(shocking everyone claps)
(kill me)
This summary sucks I'm so sorrySeries
- Part 3 of Starlit Tears
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Summary
And in the end that’s all Dazai is, he's just a simple paper boat on the ocean of Chuuya—always trying to find his way back home but dissolving in the very currents that take him there. He can’t exist without Chuuya, and Chuuya can’t exist without causing him pain. Two parallel lines that were connected by the hands of fate, an invisible string of gold and molasses kept him tied, confined to the essence of an angel-like demon.
Or
A spree of murders leads to Mori forcing Dazai to have a bodyguard(Chuuya), queue a forced proximity rivals to lovers type vibe. But not everything is as it seems, they learn this the hard way.Or
I hurt Dazai but somebodies gotta love him eventually(Chuuya coming in clutch)Series
- Part 4 of Starlit Tears
- Part 1 of Acid Promises and Broken Rain
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Moon Fall by Aspendoesinfactlive for InsomniacForevermore
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
01 Jan 2024
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Summary
There was no casket, there was no body, there was nothing left of the bandaged man but the layer of dust collecting in his empty dorm.
There was nothing and Atsushi was sorry. He wanted to run to the ashes of his mentor left on the battlefield and apologize for being silent. He wanted to scream his sorrows in the same wind that carried Dazai away from any home he could have had. They couldn’t find a body, bullshit, it was Dazai, he deserved a proper funeral.or
a sequel to "Stargazers" where we see everyone's reaction to Dazai's deathSeries
- Part 3 of Etched in the stars
- Part 5 of Starlit Tears
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Summary
So the tears that fell on the marble island were wrong and the sadness infesting his gut was out of place. Because Chuuya was right. The truth hurt but it didn’t infect his brain and fester in his heart, it didn’t clog up Dazai’s lungs and pore out his eyes. No, those were the lies. He wasn't allowed to lie
or
More context to Stargazers and Moon Fall that focuses on the abusive side of Dazai's and Chuuya's relationship
Can be read as a standaloneor Soukoku x I don't smoke by Mitski
Series
- Part 6 of Starlit Tears
- Part 4 of Etched in the stars
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Weeping moon by Aspendoesinfactlive for Soul_Keeper201
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
01 Feb 2024
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Summary
“Come back Dazai-san, please, we need you, I need you,” Atushi begged, his words messy and childish but he said them anyway.
He needed to say them anyway.
“I thought I taught you not to press your luck Atsushi-kun,” Dazai warned, his smile fading into something akin to a threat, “I’m happy where I am and I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon,”
Or
Dazai's back but things will never be the sameSeries
- Part 5 of Etched in the stars
- Part 7 of Starlit Tears
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The way I love you(and everything inbetween) by Aspendoesinfactlive
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
16 Mar 2024
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Summary
He understood something standing in that dingy warehouse, he was never made to live. He was built off of a feeble wish and a fragile dream of perfection. But he was hardly ever good and barely even a wonder. He was a mystery but he was never meant to be solved. It was painfully lonely but he would settle for loneliness as long as Kunikida would be safe. If he could ensure the agency’s safety then he would do anything, even if it meant breaking every promise he ever made, even if it meant having to live he would do it. He always would.
Or 5 times Dazai showed he cared and 1 time he was cared for
Or Dazai, Chuuya, the ada and a lesson in love
Series
- Part 8 of Starlit Tears
- Part 2 of The View Between Villages
- Part 1 of Loving like shattered glass
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Summary
Chuuya was beautiful in his destruction, his chaos brought peace into Dazai’s life, and for the first time, Dazai was happy to have met someone, even if it was only for a year or two he was glad to have known Chuuya.
He would wait his entire life if it meant he got a chance to stare into those anger-filled eyes. He would stay by Chuuya even if the other only grew to hate him more fiercely, even if Chuuya only ever thought of him as cruel and heartless at least Chuuya would have thought of him.Or
Soukoku x Hot and Heavy by Lucy DacusOr
Dazai and Chuuya learn how to love and be lovedSeries
- Part 9 of Starlit Tears
- Part 3 of The View Between Villages
- Part 2 of Loving like shattered glass
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A Cloth Heart and the Hands that Sew by Aspendoesinfactlive
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
16 Apr 2024
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Summary
Dazai saw the worst in him and chose Chuuya anyway. He knew how damaged Chuuya was, knew how hollow his past was and yet he chose him time and time again over everyone else. And now losing him…the pain was greater than Chuuya could ever imagine, he couldn’t breathe, his lungs constricted in his chest. His throat burned and his eyes stung. It wasn’t fair. Dazai couldn’t leave. It went against everything Chuuya’s ever known, everything he’s ever believed in.
“Please wake up,”
Dazai was fading and Chuuya was trying so hard not to hate him for it.Or
Chuuya and Dazai are so in love it physically hurts, they finally talk about things like normal people let's go(shocking I know)Or
Soukoku x Somewhere Only We Know by KeanuSeries
- Part 3 of Loving like shattered glass
- Part 10 of Starlit Tears
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Summary
“I think something in her used to love me, it doesn’t matter much now but I think I loved her too,”
Words spoken from chapped lips, Dazai’s frantic eyes searched for something Chuuya could never see. Something that always seemed to make Dazai sigh and turn away. Something that now made a pitiful smile grow on Dazai’s face.
“At least that’s what I like to think, if I'm wrong be kind enough not to correct me,”or
Dazai's mother dies and he doesn't take the news wellSeries
- Part 11 of Starlit Tears
- Part 4 of Loving like shattered glass
- Part 4 of The View Between Villages
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The Rot in Me Screams by Aspendoesinfactlive for Red_wine_in_a_glass
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
18 May 2024
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Summary
He wished Dazai was kinder, he wished Dazai was less of himself even though he was already a walking shell of a person. He was so hollow it was impossible to see the end of his emptiness.
Waiting for Dazai to change, to be better at his worst, was one of the worst experiences of his life. He hated that idiot for making Chuuya like him, he hated how easy it was to admit that in his head when in his life he could never even dare to write it out.or
Dazai makes a mistake, Chuuya makes an even bigger mistake and they both face the consequencesSeries
- Part 12 of Starlit Tears
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Holding hands in the dark by Aspendoesinfactlive
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
07 Aug 2024
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Summary
Dazai glared at the floor. Shattered glass littered the wood and he could barely see the outlines of it through his tired eyes. He forgot to tell Chuuya that he was going blind. He forgot to tell him a lot of things. Like how he could never quite blame him, how he could never really forgive him.
He was trying to look for acceptance in every person who despised him. He always was a helpless fool. He was stumbling through the darkness of life towards the only person who granted him light. Like a moth to a flame, he was drawn into the possibility of warmth only to find out that Chuuya was just as cold as the rest of the world.Or
Chuuya ghosts Dazai and a year later they are forced to meet back up after Dazai is diagnosed with stage four medulloblastoma (brain cancer). This is the story of the last few weeks of Dazai's life as they grow together through the heartbreak of grief and hope.Series
- Part 13 of Starlit Tears
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The House is White and the Lawn is Dead by Aspendoesinfactlive
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
02 Jun 2024
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Summary
He wanted to join his family in their graves. He wanted to hug his mother’s corpse until she hugged him back and shushed him. He wanted, just for one moment, to be comforted, and to be loved.
He wanted one last kiss on his cheek, another hushed smile, another tear, another whisper. He would tell his mom about his entire life that she missed when he saw her again. He knew it would never last, he knew he would never see her again. Something in him knew, even if his bunny heart didn’t know, it didn’t understand. It was so starved from years of never getting enough that it couldn’t comprehend that the only person who fed it wouldn’t come back.or
Dazai a few weeks after his mother's funeralSeries
- Part 5 of Loving like shattered glass
- Part 14 of Starlit Tears
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Summary
Bugs crawled on every inch of him, he was covered in his own blood. Maggots piled in his open wounds and he tried to snatch them before they could drill more holes in his skin but his shaking hands could only do so much against hundreds of insects. They feasted on his flesh as he shook. He wasn’t allowed to cry but that didn’t stop tears from dripping down his face.
He wasn’t good, he wasn’t perfect. But soon he would be, soon he would be emotionless enough he would be a full machine.Or
What happens when Chuuya leaves the mafia before Dazai does?
(featuring me projecting my fear of bugs onto Dazai)Series
- Part 15 of Starlit Tears
- Part 5 of The View Between Villages
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Before the Ashes, There was a Fire by Aspendoesinfactlive
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
16 Jan 2025
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Summary
They shot disapproving looks and half hearted laughs. Then they moved on. They left him alone. There was no use worrying about a demon. No use trying to put out a fire if the one burning doesn’t even scream. There’s no satisfaction that way, there’s no way to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
And Dazai would rather die than admit he was capable of living.Or
Dazai is incapable of being happy until he isn'tOr
5 times Dazai wants to die and 1 time he doesn'tSeries
- Part 16 of Starlit Tears
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Summary
He was consumed by pain and yet the bees never stopped buzzing. They swam through the air and curled in his stomach, when had they gotten there? Dazai didn’t know and yet he had no energy left to worry.
He heard a creaking, an awakening. Disturbing and squelching. Sagging, standing, a sack of flesh that bled no more than what it was fed, and oh how it was starving. Its hunger was loud and pronounced, its shape was sharp against the off-white porcelain shards scattered across the floor.
Or
Dazai gets progressively worse, things are not fun but he'll eventually get help
this is basically just a metaphor for being queer and mentally ill and the inner turmoil that comes with accepting itSeries
- Part 17 of Starlit Tears
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The Silence of a Heartbeat by Aspendoesinfactlive
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
05 Feb 2025
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Summary
Crinkled eyes, a laugh on the tip of his tongue but he could never let Dazai know Chuuya didn’t hate him so he just scoffed. Nothing would ever deter Dazai’s curiosity though, his brown eyes studied the small grey rocks half hidden by the wet sand.
Blue irises coiled and relaxed in the heat of the cold sun, it was never easy to be around Dazai when he was quiet. It left a sour taste on Chuuya’s tongue. One he wished he wasn’t familiar with. There was no comfort left in the silence, it was drained through the small hole Dazai made with the pin of an unspoken apology.Or
Five times Chuuya saw Dazai and one time he knew himOr
Chuuya watched Dazai collapse from the inside out until he held nothing but dustSeries
- Part 18 of Starlit Tears
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Summary
He was gifted in starvation. He was a master at replacing meals with exercise. It wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t supposed to be. He knew the repercussions, he understood the risk but he also coveted the reward. So was it really so bad when he would wake up early to take the long way to the agency? Was it really horrible if he didn’t want to live if he wasn’t skinny?
He took the plumpness in his thighs as an insult and the roundness of his face as warfare. He would ready his tanks and polish his guns so when reality kicked in it would already be too late. He wanted it to be too late.or
Dazai relapses in his eating disorder and almost dies but people care and help him
Can be read as a stand alone or sequelSeries
- Part 7 of Loving like shattered glass
- Part 19 of Starlit Tears
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Lonely in a Strangers Skin by Aspendoesinfactlive
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
12 May 2025
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Summary
“Do you think there’s a point in me living?” Dazai asked simply, he didn’t raise his head or move his eyes from the blood stain on the floor.
He didn’t need to look at Chuuya’s face to know the expression he was wearing, he didn’t need eyes to see the pain he always managed to cause.
A sharp breath, a beat of a useless heart, Chuuya just sighed when he realized Dazai wasn’t going to give him anything more than that small question.
“No,” Chuuya whispered, his eyes never once left Dazai’s expressionless face, “Not like this.”Or
Dazai on the anniversary of Oda's death throughout the yearsSeries
- Part 20 of Starlit Tears