petrichorca
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At nearly 50 years old, Stede Bonnet inadvertently ends up at the Winter Olympics, the sole competitor for Aotearoa New Zealand in biathlon. With barely three weeks notice, he’s out of depth and worries he’s not adequate.
Ed “Blackbeard” Teach won 13 medals in the Summer Olympics for AoNZ two decades ago. Someone thought it was a good idea to bring former athletes to the Winter games—so here he is, taking selfies with figure skaters, going viral with the curlers, and freezing his ass off on the skeleton track. The media may think Stede’s got no hope, but Ed finds him fascinating.
When Stede and Ed meet, the connection is instant. But as Stede’s events loom, will he be able to compete at the Olympic level? Will he disappoint his crew and his family back home? Worse, will he disappoint Ed?
(Spoiler alert, no. Ed’s all in.)
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The #OFMDdisastercule prompt generator said The disastercule are on deck. Jack is getting spanked by Ed and Mary. Anne is tied to the chair, growling “You better not come!” - and that is what we made. Enjoy!
LEGO art by kharas, fic by pez :D
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Roach doesn’t fall asleep easily after sex. His mind whirs. It flashes between thoughts like light glints off his cooking knives. It bubbles like sourdough starter testing the boundaries of its container.
Kevin knows this. Because Roach told him. He let him in. Because they were shipmates first, then friends, then best friends.
And now, well.
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Feeling the beat of my heart, yeah, yeah by petrichorca for wardrobespierre
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
13 Jan 2026
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An unexpected cat rescue interrupts Ed and Stede’s third date.
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let’s meet in the city where the rivers cross by petrichorca, SonoraWebster, yerbamansa
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
06 Dec 2025
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Summary
Recent divorcé Stede Bonnet and long-time Portland bar owner Ed Teach don't know each other, but they're on a collision course. It all starts with a clothing swap.
Recent series
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Podfuckery 2024 by 1happydaiz, adhduck, Baby_kraken, bizarrelittlemew, caribbeancrocs, cheesecake3, cheesecake3pods (cheesecake3), ClaireGregory, cochineal, darcylindbergh, Deanbird, depressionrobe, elky, emi_rose, fullofhope137, Gemagination, ghostalservice, happydaiz_pod (1happydaiz), Judysoranges, Kninjaknitter, littlefingies, LoopyDangerFrog, LyndziM, nomadsland, offsammich, Permanent_Ink, petrichorca, PilotPiratePods, SD_Ryan, shipmates, smallestchurch, Tipsy_Kitty, tragicallynerdy, veeagainst, with (cheesecake3), with (Tipsy_Kitty), xoxoemynn, YellowMustard, yerbamansa, Yourgentlemanpirate
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Jan 2025
Summary
It's a PODFUCKERY!
a group of authors have all taken the same beginning and end of a story and filled in their own delicious middles.... and they don't know who's going to be narrating them!
A group of podficcers have each been given a story to narrate.... and they don't know who wrote them!
Join us through the month of December as we take a journey through nearly 40 different creators!
Hosted by 1happydaiz, BabyKraken, and ghostalservice!
- Words:
- 31,394
- Works:
- 21
- Bookmarks:
- 12
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- Words:
- 10,928
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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Pez's pre-canon gentlebeard stories by Fidi, petrichorca
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
12 Jun 2025
Summary
This is a collection of my fics where Ed and Stede meet earlier than canon events. I've done quite a few of them! They range from childhood to young adult to shortly before Stede, canonically, takes to the Revenge.
FYI if I collaborated with someone on a fic they are automatically listed as a co-creator of this series (with permission).
- Words:
- 92,159
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 10
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missing scenes (in timeline order) by ferventrabbit, petrichorca, veeagainst
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
03 Feb 2025
Summary
I (petrichorca/Pez) have been writing missing scene fics for OFMD. They're not deliberately connected, because I just write when I feel the urge and they're self-contained stories, but I've put them in canonical timeline order here in case it's interesting to read my missing scenes like that!
Just an FYI: if I've collaborated with someone on a missing scene and added the fic(s) to this collection (with their consent), they're included as a co-creator on the series.
- Words:
- 26,646
- Works:
- 10
- Bookmarks:
- 8
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- Words:
- 196,160
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 18
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
A quick piece of art featuring Ed and Stede paired up at the Olympics!
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This is not at all how Stede expected his night to unfold.
To wit: Stede is kneeling on the dirty floor of a bathroom stall in the shitty little low-ceilinged men’s room at Jackie’z, the hot velvety shaft of a faceless stranger’s dick resting in his palm.
Bookmarked by petrichorca
19 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
diamonds on the soles of his shoes by knotwerk
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Ed, the owner and head chef of the famous and expensive restaurant BLK, happens to notice an exquisite blonde customer - dining alone, with a book, completely at peace with herself. Fascinating! But after a while, she realizes that the customer has a secret ...
Series
- Part 13 of Sweet Damsels
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What would you have me do, Captain? by This_Will_Be_Our_Year
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
22 Mar 2024
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“I’m sorry if it’s weird, you know,” Stede whispers. “Getting terms and conditions from the crew.”
Ed sighs. “I don’t mind, really. Kind of nice to be taking orders instead of giving them for once.”
Stede hums thoughtfully.
“I never knew you felt that way,” he finally replies softly.
Ed hugs the pillow tighter. “Yeah, well. Can get exhausting. Hard to keep that up.”
“But you’re so good at it!” Stede fires back with conviction. “Everyone just falls in line when you’re around.”
Ed chuckles to himself. “Everyone but you, maybe.”
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Ed explores why he suddenly wants to give up control...especially with Stede. Takes place during Season 2, Episodes 4-6.
Bookmarked by petrichorca
27 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
What would you have me do, Captain? By This_Will_Be_Our_Year
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in faith i do not love thee with mine eyes, or: wait, what? by yerbamansa for fake_geek_boy
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
09 Jan 2026
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Summary
The crew gathers to watch their favorite weird nature documentary series and is surprised when they recognize some of the wildlife.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,032
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 15
- Kudos:
- 50
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 234
Bookmarked by petrichorca
11 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
in faith i do not love thee with mine eyes, or: wait, what? by yerbamansa