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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “You tell me you love me, darling, yet I know the truth: nobody loves me once they see what I can do.”

    A personal interpretation of Ivan “killing” Andrew. It destroyed them both, and it was worth it, all the while.

    “The parasite unveiling and my vessel falling loose. I trust you, though, I do; I trust you not to lose.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,010
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    22
  2. Tags
    Summary

    In Berlint, everyone pays taxes: Spies, assassins, informants, secret police, and other people with less interesting job titles.

    One rogue Garden assassin, however, has committed the worst crime of all: tax evasion. Now, Yor must team up with Franky to hunt down the missing culprit and restore the guild's bloodstained (but tax-compliant) reputation. All while Hemlock is forced to stay in City Hall and make "friends."

    Meanwhile, Yuri and Chloe investigate the suspicious death of a fellow officer. Their search leads them to City Hall, where they find one man's unpaid taxes have somehow turned the building into a crowded, committee-filled labyrinth of excess paperwork, war-hungry couriers and firefighters, and rooms where time didn't move in a linear fashion.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,615
    Chapters:
    6/17
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    412
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Three moments of Mrs. Fillyjonk's life in which she and her children were on the brink of disaster, coupled with some childhood mischief and silliness.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    87
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Ce travail peut être considéré comme une suite (AU) de Solarballs (Une série Web) ou bien une œuvre originale.

    Après cinq ans dans l'espace en tant qu'ambassadeur cosmique, Jeremy Delcon (Astrodude) revient sur Terre brisé : il est viré, doit deux milliards de dollars à l'Agence, et son fils le déteste.
    ​Le véritable cauchemar commence lorsqu'il découvre que sa femme a adopté, comme enfants d'accueil, deux adolescents étrangement familiers : la Terre et la Lune.
    ​Coincé entre sa dette et l'obligation de vivre avec les planètes doués de sens qu'il fuit depuis cinq ans, Jeremy forme un "Conseil de Guerre cosmique" au sein de sa famille brisée et est contraint de traquer un robot rebelle. Tout en surveillant les plus grande menaces de l'humanité : plusieurs êtres cosmiques qui ont élu domicile sur la surface de la Terre dans un chaos qui ne fait qu'empirer.

    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    12,252
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    78
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Garść hetaliowych drabbli, okruszków, miniatur i niepoprawnych pomysłów, just for your entertainment. Komedia, oklepane motywy, absurd bez większego sensu, pisane z doskoku one-shoty. Zbiorek wszystkiego, co jest zbyt małe na własną opowieść i miejsce na ewentualne eksperymenty z formą. Branie czegokolwiek tutaj na poważnie - niezalecane.
    Shipy przeróżne, głównie LietPol i PrusPol, ale są też bezparingowce.

    Language:
    Polski
    Words:
    75,792
    Chapters:
    150/?
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    178
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    3,825
  6. Tags
    Summary

    A crack fanfiction where Uzi Doorman finds herself in the real world and promptly fights against the Illuminati in a dystopian backdrop. Pure crack, potential references and non-canonical fuckery.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,948
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Hits:
    91
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Welcome to the Companion Update. Valve and Facepunch created advanced AI companions to fill in servers, pulling characters from every franchise imaginable, complete with their personalities and memories.
    The problem? The Companions are genuinely sentient.
    They have no idea they're in a video game.
    To them, players are "Operators", glitches are "reality anomalies", and their manic, basement-dwelling, terminally online bosses are incomprehensible entities. This anthology chronicles their assignments as they try to survive a reality that doesn't make sense.

    Spacebattles Forum version, ported by fan

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,208
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    119
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    4,443
  8. Tags
    Summary

    In the beginning was the You.
    And the You went viral.

    Thomas the Unbeliever returns — not as an apostle, but as the narrator of a cosmic sitcom about faith, fame, and collective delusion.
    Jes... back too, rebranded as a motivational guru streaming from the desert, while angels argue about brand deals and Pontius Pilate 2.0 moderates the comments.

    It’s the Gospel according to burnout.
    Holy? Maybe. Entertaining? Definitely.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,930
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    89
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of tired poems, written to vent or to laugh.

    Maybe they'd be better if I weren't so damn tired.

    I do what I can.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    757
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    35
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Florence is flooded with tourists, as always. Michelangelo’s David has had enough. Tired of being constantly observed and photographed naked, he kicks a tourist and leaves the museum.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    198
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    8
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Upon the death of the Patriarch, Su Mu Yu shakes the martial arts world with a single declaration: Dark River is the reborn Wujian City. Instead of becoming the new Patriarch, Su Chang He finds himself named Sect Leader by Zhuo Yue An. Disciples, formerly assassins, bow before them. Soul Reaper's Hall is the Honored Elders Hall. All these things, Yue An insists without faltering or blinking, are now true.

    Zhuo Yue An, formerly Su Mu Yu, does not lead Dark River to the Other Shore. Instead, he shoves the new Wujian City and all in it straight into the light, and to the utter bafflement and disbelief of others, it works.

    *Surprise Sect AU
    *Crazy Enough To Work
    *Mass confusion

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,634
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    127
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Megatron and his top lieutenants explore a desolate world searching for a mysterious energy signal. What happens next will change everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,604
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    72
  13. Tags
    Summary

    In the wake of Second Impact, the SIGNIFICANT Reforms were instituted by the Japanese government.

    The lives of the Second and Third Children are about to change. Significantly. They'll figure it out... Everyone else seems to have.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,570
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,594
  14. Tags
    Summary

    My strategy, strategy
    Like gravity, gravity
    TWICE – Strategy (Feat. Megan Thee Stallion)

    …я в первый раз открыл свою душу ласковому равнодушию мира.
    Альбер Камю, «Посторонний»

    Ирен балансирует в корпоративной среде так же уверенно, как на скользких улицах в лабутенах. Как будто и не человек вовсе, а стратегия, разработанная чьим-то (уязвленным) интеллектом. История, в которой монополия на интеллект сохраняется за единственным персонажем, но это его ни от чего не защищает и ничего не гарантирует.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    3,862
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    17
  15. Tags
    Summary

    О том, почему у Дамблдора все идеи "гениальные". Почему Снейп скоро поседеет. Кто прибьёт Джеймса Поттера. О радости Волдеморта и наивной глупости Карлуса Поттера.
    А вообще, некроманты не кроткие овечки, и редко кто становится настоящим некромантом от хорошей жизни.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,244
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    42
  16. Tags
    Summary

    О том почему не стоит брать в руки неизвестные артефакты, как Белатрисса Лестренж упала в обморок, а Тёмный Лорд проиграл в шахматы... Ах, да, а так же о том, почему Карлус Поттер идеалист пополам с садистом.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,669
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    43
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Когда тебе везёт, то по идеи, и окружающим должно что-то доставаться. Правда ещё не известно, кому достанется больше.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,773
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    39
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Ему постоянно везёт, так что окружающие уже икают. И да, это наследственное. И похоже "родственники" знают куда и как это везение приложить.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    2,195
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    37
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Если постоянно везёт на неприятности, а уровень силы не поддаётся измерению, возможно стоит поискать причину не в себе, а в своей родословной, быть может, это семейное...

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    2,192
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    33
  20. Tags
    Summary

    You know those Hallmark Christmas movies where the big-city girl comes home, drinks too much spiked cocoa, and then bangs the lumberjack with the heart of gold?

    Yeah.

    This is that.

    Except the big-city girl is a pro-hero dominatrix in latex boots bringing her former ninja supervillain girlfriend—who still calls her “Mommy”—back to Small Town, USA, for a Christmas-fueled chaotic orgy of big-city success clashing with small-town simplicity.

    Oh, and the Christmas Ghosts are played by some special guest waifus!

    This special proudly lampshades Hallmark tropes and skewers a Christmas Carol with smut, satire, and unapologetic camp.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,530
    Chapters:
    4/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    465

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