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Honey, don't feed me, I will come back by serpent_and_dahlia
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
18 Apr 2025
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Summary
Bubbles shielded Ed’s modesty, a dense carpet of them covering the surface of the water so that all Stede could see was his face, the silver mass of his hair piled messily, fetchingly atop his head, and—just above the cloud line, peeking in and out of view—the slope of his bare shoulders, the suggestion of a clavicle. A smear of bubblebath clung to his jaw. A stray lock of hair, damp with steam, stuck to the side of his neck.
The sheer eroticism of the image nearly sent Stede to his knees; more devastating, perhaps, than if Ed had stood before him completely bare.
*
Ed's wearing the sack, and the bell. He's doing his best to make himself useful, to win back the crew's trust. He's just maybe not doing such a great job taking care of himself in the process, but luckily Stede has a solution: time for a bubble bath.
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
23 Apr 2025
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Summary
Steve knew all too well that everything comes with a cost. He had pushed people away with his neediness one too many times. He was determined to keep his friends this time. Even if that means destroying himself in the process.
Or:
Three times Eddie tries to take care of a resistant Steve, and one time Steve asks him to… kinda.
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
20 Jan 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Beautiful in a sad, sweet way. Definitely a reread.
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- Words:
- 26,808
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 328
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
20 Sep 2024
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Summary
"...But on the surface of the coffee table, in the open, sprawling space of the room, is a pocket-sized journal. Something that could easily be slipped into a vest or behind a wallet or in the depths of an unsuspecting purse; if Eddie carried that sort of thing.
...Oh, but the journal is tantalizing. Within arm's reach. A little thing; red cover, silver spiral, lined paper. No way of identifying who it belongs to. Unless..."
OR
A 5+1 Where Eddie Reads 5 of Steve's Journal Entries and Steve Reads One Eddie Writes To HimOR
I had a crazy little thought one night and wanted to try my hand at a 5+1.TW: Vague Suicidal Thoughts (But It's Like One Line)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,380
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 51
- Kudos:
- 452
- Bookmarks:
- 81
- Hits:
- 3,971
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
16 Aug 2024
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$20 Wedding Dress by ghostalservice, petrichorca, veeagainst
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
24 Oct 2023
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Summary
Ed needs to blow off some steam, so he buys a thrift store wedding dress and pretends to be a runaway bride, in hopes someone at the swanky bar he wanders into will ravage him into oblivion. Stede sees a vision in mint green, but isn’t sure he will be of any interest to this mysterious stranger. Archie watches two cringefail men fall head over heels for each other.
(Yes, Ed’s wearing the season 2 wedding topper dress. 👀👰💚✨️)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,568
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 396
- Kudos:
- 752
- Bookmarks:
- 139
- Hits:
- 5,471
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
21 Nov 2023
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Summary
Stede's birthday is coming up and all he really wants is a pirate themed party. His boyfriend thinks he's being childish and stupid. The handsome stranger in the cake aisle disagrees.
~~~~~
“Pirates, is it?”“Please don’t tease. I really don’t think I can handle any more ridicule today.”
“Shit, no I didn’t mean it like that. I’m a bit of a pirate nerd myself. Can I show you something?” He began unbuttoning his dress shirt before Stede could form the words to answer.
“What are you doing?” he started to ask, trailing off quickly as his mouth went dry at the sight of the man’s bare chest where he had pulled his undershirt all the way up. Stede was too distracted to finish speaking by the overall impression: a canvas of ink covered skin, muscular and soft in all the right places, a tantalizing trail of dark hair leading Stede’s eyes down, down…
Fuck. Focus, Bonnet.
He dragged his focus back to the inked images which were surely the point of this man’s public indecency.
~~~~(Mary to Ed, some time later):
“So, do you throw personalized birthday parties for all of your patrons, or just the ones you show your tits to in the grocery store?”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,664
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 473
- Kudos:
- 1,328
- Bookmarks:
- 280
- Hits:
- 14,295
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
09 Nov 2023
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Summary
kinkmeme prompt: Izzy, truth serum:
Izzy dosed with truth serum or equivalent and forced to talk about his feelings. Talk it through as a crew. He is angry and hates it. Feelings can be of whatever verity filler likes, and any ships. or friendships, rivalry, whatever are welcome.
-Izzy bristles. (I feel like I’ve been fucking stabbed, you idiot!) “Feel bad,” Izzy frowns, his tongue seeming to betray him.
Roach rolls his eyes. “No shit genius. Bad how? I need to identify what poison they used."
(Fuck off, I’m fine.) “Everyone’s fussing over me, pretending to care. I don’t like it.” Izzy tries to sit up as the words leave his lips, confused and alarmed.
...
Roach nods, as if that confirmed some theory. “Truth serum.”
(Well Fuck.) “Well Fuck.”
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Everyone suddenly wants to have conversations that Izzy doesn't want to. Izzy faces his worst enemy, feelings.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,142
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 210
- Kudos:
- 2,026
- Bookmarks:
- 340
- Hits:
- 23,444
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
15 Oct 2023
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Summary
Stede squared his jaw and asked, “How do we choose who to kill?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Ed said with a relieved smile. “Izzy always does that.”
“That is not at all surprising,” Lucius muttered under his breath, sketching a small icon of the angry man in the corner of the open page.
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Five times Lucius hears the words "Izzy always does that," and one time Lucius does something for him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,594
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 204
- Kudos:
- 1,618
- Bookmarks:
- 383
- Hits:
- 13,868
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
18 May 2023
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Summary
His eyes start to prickle when the librarian tells them who he’s calling for and the appointment time he needs to cancel because fuck, it seems so easy, the way the guy just says it like a normal person. It takes less than 60 seconds, and Ed feels so goddamn stupid for taking a 10-minute trip one way to make this angel of a man do this for him.
“There we go, all canceled! Can I help you with anything else?”
And god, he’s smiling and happy and not at all annoyed.
________Ed has phone anxiety and asks the librarian at the local library to cancel an appointment for him.
Series
- Part 1 of Cardinal
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Summary
Sometimes though, in his weakest moments, when it’s still early and he’s alone on deck, Izzy fantasizes what it might be like to still have Edward like this. But that’s all Izzy allows himself, he indulges those thoughts and goes back to work, because there is nothing else he can do. And when he feels a stab of sharp pain in his chest every time, he sees Edward and Stede come out of their cabin, then that’s Izzy’s business and his alone.
TLTR:
After a raid Izzy has to deal with his feelings for Ed, he's not very good at it, thankfully Ed is.Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
31 Jan 2023
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Summary
In a last ditch effort to save his crumbling marriage, Stede Bonnet decides to take an early retirement to focus on his family. His plan: to have a beautiful, custom tiny home built in secret to travel the country with his wife and children.
Edward Teach has been building tiny homes for nearly a decade, and after so many builds under his belt they tend to become standard and repetitive - until an inquiry comes in asking for the most ridiculous, expensive, and quite possibly impossible request he's ever received.
Series
- Part 1 of Home Sweet Home
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,378
- Chapters:
- 33/33
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 422
- Kudos:
- 439
- Bookmarks:
- 101
- Hits:
- 8,427
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
15 Jan 2023
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Summary
Ed's Grindr hookup ends up being just okay, but this other guy Stede doesn't seem to mind getting sloppy seconds.
OFMD JanuAUry day 3 - Grindr
Series
- Part 3 of OFMD JanuAUry
- Part 23 of Smutty Gentlebeard AU one shots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,314
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 64
- Kudos:
- 745
- Bookmarks:
- 74
- Hits:
- 4,954
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
05 Jan 2023
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Summary
Only once they were out of sight of the café did the man stop and take his arm away, giving Stede a sheepish little grin. “Looked like you needed rescuing back there,” he said, and then held out his free hand. “I’m Ed.”
Stede, still a little dumbfounded, grasped Ed’s hand in a weak shake. “Stede. Stede Bonnet. I’ll pay you back for the tea, I promise. I get paid next week.”
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A modern AU where Ed saves Stede from embarrassment in a café, and then suddenly accidental sugar daddy happens. This is a prompt fill from the OFMD kink meme, the fic is all complete and a new chapter will be posted weekly.
ETA: A podfic version of this fic, read by the incomparable SD_Ryan, is available here!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,695
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,416
- Kudos:
- 1,781
- Bookmarks:
- 522
- Hits:
- 34,120
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
19 Dec 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
Ridiculously cute 🥰
Excellent characterisation, love that Ed is the "rich one" for once. Canon details mixed in really nicely. -
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Summary
It's Izzy Hands' birthday and what better way to make him squirm than having the Revenge Crew shower him with gifts?
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Five Stede things Izzy tries (and one Izzy thing Stede tries) by JupiterMelichios
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
08 Aug 2022
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Summary
Silently Lucius indicates his eye, and Ed actually touches his own face, like he has no idea what Lucius could possibly be referring to. Understanding dawns as his fingers find the puffy red skin that’s going to turn into an absolutely spectacular black eye, if Lucius is any judge. “Oh, that. Yeah, fine, I was just tryin’ something new with Izzy.”
Lucius considers everything he knows about their relationship, and asks carefully, “and did it… work?”
Series
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
04 Dec 2022
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The One Thing We Want (Is To Treat You Well) by Achilles_Is_Gay for kharti
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
18 Oct 2022
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Summary
“Ed,” Izzy deadpans, drawing Ed’s confused gaze, “you’re a switch, right?”
“Oh,” Ed says, stunned for a moment. “Um, yeah, I guess?” It comes out as a question, Ed now catching on to what his partners are insinuating.
“And yet when you’re with us,” Stede picks up, “You're always in control. I join you sometimes, of course. Our dear Israel is so lovely to rile up,” Izzy blushes again as the focus momentarily shifts to him, “but you never let me, let us, do the same for you.” Stede finishes with a gentle smile, drawing one of Ed’s hands to him for a kiss and then letting it drop again.
Ed’s hands cross over his chest, hands grasping his elbows, almost a hug. He's feeling exposed suddenly, his heartbeat thudding in his chest.Series
- Part 1 of Edward Teach Deserves Nice Things, Too
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
20 Oct 2022
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i'll be good, and i'll love the world, like i should by chronicpessimist
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 Apr 2022
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Summary
The crew stumble upon a village having their annual Christmas market, and they explore in their own ways. Christmas dinner happens, and Izzy realizes his insecurities are unreasonable.
In short: Baby's first Christmas.[i know it's april, please let me be.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,116
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 36
- Kudos:
- 289
- Bookmarks:
- 45
- Hits:
- 3,615
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
27 Sep 2022
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Summary
“Someone ought to fuck some sense into him,” Pete said, slipping his arm around Lucius’s waist.
“Ha, that would be something.” Lucius quirked an eyebrow at him. “You volunteering?”
“Don’t look at me,” Pete said. “You’re the one he wants.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,688
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 236
- Kudos:
- 1,033
- Bookmarks:
- 145
- Hits:
- 12,405
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
24 Sep 2022
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Summary
In which the co-captains reunite rather vigorously and Izzy is a terror about it, so Lucius--with the crew's encouragement and Pete's blessing--sets about seducing him to get him to calm the fuck down.
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
02 Sep 2022
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Summary
Post season one, Stede and Ed have made up. In a huge part to Izzy basically keeping everyone alive and together while Ed was losing it.
Lucius is frustrated that Izzy won’t just give in and warm up to them, and decides to pull a little prank just to shake things up. They will have a laugh, maybe some violence, and he knows that at least is something that cheers Izzy up.
He doesn’t realize how badly he’s miscalculated until it goes sideways.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,072
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 124
- Kudos:
- 1,468
- Bookmarks:
- 221
- Hits:
- 14,707
Bookmarked by MightyRoosh
22 Aug 2022