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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “-can’t see each other again,” Ilya says, looking only at Shane’s hand, holding it so, so gently and stroking over Shane’s skin so, so softly. The soothing feeling of it makes it very hard to focus, but Shane tries very hard to do it anyway. “I tried-we tried, but this can’t happen again.” It takes a moment, but Shane finally manages to make sense of the words, and he lets out a soft noise of understanding.

    Ah. He’s apologizing that he won’t be able to see Shane in the hospital again before he leaves.

    “I understand,” he says, and he does. It was probably really hard for Ilya to get here even once, and it can’t be very long before his plane leaves. He’s sad, of course–they didn’t even get to spend time together, really–but it’s not like this will be the last chance they ever have to see each other. He gives Ilya his best attempt at a smile, and if it comes out a little sad, too, all Ilya does is reach out to stroke the backs of his fingers gently over his cheek.

    (ilya goes through with his plan to break up with shane in the hospital) (the problem? shane is too high to understand that he's being broken up with)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,369
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    299
    Kudos:
    4,484
    Bookmarks:
    901
    Hits:
    23,275

    17 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Luch-Shane,” Ilya says, catching himself only at the last moment before he breaks their no pet names in the workplace rule. “Why don’t you get some air, yes? We can-”

    Shane’s anxiety takes a quick backseat to annoyance once more, at being handled like a child instead of a grown man, like he hasn’t been doing this just as long as Ilya, like he needs someone to tell him when to take a break.

    Like he deserved to have everything taken away from him because he couldn’t handle it to start with.

    “I’m fine,” he says, voice icy.

    The step he takes away is too big, farther than he meant to get from Ilya’s side, and the air between them feels both charged and icy.

    He isn’t quite bold enough to try and fix it.

    (shane is married and on the same team as his husband) (and all it cost him was his whole career and the life he spent years building beforehand) (but it's fine, really) (it's all so very, very fucking fine)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,140
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    227
    Kudos:
    2,433
    Bookmarks:
    607
    Hits:
    16,852

    15 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    ...oh,” his mom says. “Oh, honey, you were seeing someone? You never said anything.”

    “It’s-it’s complicated.” He catches the present tense too fucking late to do anything about it, and he barely resists the urge to either groan or slip forward to start beating his head against the coffee table.

    Fuck his fucking life.

    “You’re still…seeing this person?” His mom asks, and the amount of control he can hear her exerting is almost painful. “Who is-”

    “Yuna,” his dad cuts in, voice quiet, “maybe give him a second, yeah?”

    Yeah, Shane agrees in his head. Give him a second.

    Maybe give him a decade while they’re at it.

    (when shane's old fake id falls out of his wallet around his parents, he has to explain that it was to book hotel rooms before he was 21)

    (...and then he has to explain why he needed to book those hotel rooms in the first place)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,781
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    605
    Kudos:
    8,658
    Bookmarks:
    1,884
    Hits:
    47,664

    15 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.

    “I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”

    He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.

    When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.

    (the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)

    (or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    627
    Kudos:
    9,202
    Bookmarks:
    2,661
    Hits:
    70,195

    14 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “-moya rybka, I am sorry, sweet girl-” Ilya is saying, on his knees in the middle of their living room and patting the rug near him with what looks like devastation on his face as Anya continues to ignore him, curled up on Shane’s lap instead. Fresh off of several stacked events to fit them into a weekend–because Shane’s mom is nothing if not efficient when it comes to the deals she makes–Ilya got home only a few minutes ago, still in the outfit he’d left his Buzzfeed puppy interview in, which Anya had clearly not appreciated, sniffing him suspiciously after her initial excited greeting and then retreating to Shane immediately when he patted his thigh in welcome.

    Shane is trying not to be obviously enjoying Ilya’s turmoil as much as he is, shifting Anya to lay on her back like a baby in one arm and cooing at her.

    “I know, huh? Papa left and played with who knows how many other dogs, and the whole time you were here missing him. I bet he wasn’t even thinking about you, huh?”

    “Hollander!” Ilya says, sounding scandalized. “Do not tell her that! Is not true!”

    (collection of standalone fics/ficlets prompted by my own tumblr posts) (will update as inspiration strikes)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,973
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    769
    Kudos:
    4,819
    Bookmarks:
    1,055
    Hits:
    74,404

    14 May 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    When Shane takes a hard hit on the ice, he wakes up three days later to find his reality has been shattered. But the truth is, it wasn’t reality at all. Just an elaborate set of false memories conjured by a brain injury. 'False memory syndrome' they call it. Shane calls it a nightmare he couldn't have imagined.

    Or

    Shane doesn’t have amnesia. Instead, he wakes up wanting his boyfriend only to realize his brain concocted a bunch of fake memories of a nine year situationship and Shane has no idea how to live in his actual reality that Ilya hasn’t been a part of. Luckily, Ilya is…curious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,619
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,005
    Kudos:
    4,611
    Bookmarks:
    1,670
    Hits:
    88,999

    13 May 2026

  7. Public Bookmark 85

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    His eyes flicked down to the logo on Kip’s shirt, lingering for just a second longer than strictly necessary. “USA Rugby, huh?”

    Kip shrugged, suddenly weirdly aware of his heartbeat again. “Yeah. Sevens.”

     

    or
    A Game Changer/Heated Rivalry EP 3 AU where Kip plays Rugby 7s!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    97,666
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    416
    Kudos:
    370
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    10,209

    13 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  8. Public Bookmark 32

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    Scott Hunter said in the voice of sweet reason, "It's not a big deal."

    Oh. That answered Kip's questions.

    "You. Fucking. Asshole."

    Scott was still reeling when Kip grabbed his jacket and his shoes and stormed out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,298
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    310
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    2,949

    13 May 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    “Hey man, did the LASIK already fade? Thought it was supposed to last longer—my sister was thinking about it, and I told her how well it went for you and Jonesy.”

    Hunter looks up from the table, confused, “Huh? No, my eyes are great. Still recommend it.”

    “Oh, I saw the contact lens solution, and I thought…” Carter trails off. He suddenly realizes he’s prying, something he hates doing in general but learned long ago not to do with Hunter specifically. Hunter opens his mouth and then shuts it. His whole face looks like a rabbit caught in crosshairs.

    “I, that was,” he stammers, pauses for a beat. “My cousin visited. Thanksgiving. She forgot hers, and I bought some for her.”

    ---

    Carter Vaughn does not want to pry. But he does want to know what's going on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,988
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    1,172
    Bookmarks:
    133
    Hits:
    4,922

    13 May 2026

  10. Public Bookmark 20

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    Outtakes from the world of Fuckboy Fuzz, in which Scott crashes out post-breakup, gets a horrible haircut, comes out three years early (in the most ridiculous possible fashion) and makes everyone around him very concerned.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,905
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    189
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1,128

    12 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    1

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Scott arrives at Sochi reckless, mostly hairless, and entirely Kip-less, but he's doing completely fine. Vaughny needs to stop worrying, because he's definitely not going to do something stupid, like spend his Gold medal speech begging Kip to take him back.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,496
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
    559
    Bookmarks:
    120
    Hits:
    4,373

    12 May 2026

  12. Public Bookmark 29

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    Five Times Scott and Kip Almost Went All the Way (and One Time They Finally Did).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,157
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    147
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    1,285

    12 May 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya:
    9/10 she had freckles

    Shane:
    7.5/10 Medium dick but he ate my ass like he was starving for it

    ---

    Shane and Ilya call it quits after the All-Stars game when Ilya says they can't be anything. He says no one will fuck Shane like he can, and Shane takes that personally, starting a two year cycle of sending each other ratings of the other people they fuck

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,424
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    198
    Kudos:
    4,553
    Bookmarks:
    779
    Hits:
    30,416

    10 May 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Wyatt was not, like, nosy. For sure, he was interested. He was curious. He engaged with people, obviously, because most people were interesting and engaging and had cool thoughts and said neat stuff if you asked.

    So, no. Wyatt wasn’t nosy, but he wasn’t stupid, either.

    Or: A Bromance Blooms In Ottawa
    Or: The Ballad of Wyatt and Ilya

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,684
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    18
    Comments:
    1,481
    Kudos:
    18,420
    Bookmarks:
    6,069
    Hits:
    157,478

    09 May 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    "Why are you not scared?"

    "I am scared," Ilya admits. "I just am tired. Of hiding me. Of hiding you. Of hiding how much I love you. I want to go to the rink— how do you say it? Authenti."

    "Authentically," Shane supplies, automatically.

    "Yes. Authentically. I want to go to the rink authentically, as me," Ilya confirms.

    Ilya looks at Shane, pauses until Shane meets his eyes. "I want to say: I, Ilya Rozanov, love a man, and that man's name is Shane Hollander."

     

    -

    Or, sometimes it takes a little more time, and some courage, to be with the one you love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,933
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    4,277
    Kudos:
    19,399
    Bookmarks:
    8,780
    Hits:
    498,854

    09 May 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    He only realizes he’s doing it when it’s too late to stop.

    He’s standing in the drink aisle of the grocery store, checking the expiration dates on the cans of Coke, mentally cross-checking them with Boston’s away game schedule, and the reality hits him like someone shook one of those cans and popped it open. A snap. A fizz. A mess.

    Shane is making space for Ilya.

     

    (or, lessons in budget-friendly shopping, home decor, and resisting the urge to neatly combine all your situationship’s shit into a drawer in your bedroom because you might be falling in love with him: a seven-ish step guide by shane hollander, who is so, so fucked)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,048
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    17
    Comments:
    1,150
    Kudos:
    19,309
    Bookmarks:
    6,732
    Hits:
    292,674

    09 May 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    She hauls him back to his place – a gorgeous condo that overlooks Montreal and is 70% glass. All the reflecting, soft light makes her dress look like liquid silver. She lets it drop onto the stairs behind her.

    As she turns—

    She sees his reflection. She sees the face she knows she was never, ever meant to see. His heart isn’t in this. But then he’s glancing up at her, some stranger to a smile on his face, and she knows something she was never, ever meant to know: he will make himself go through with this. He’s going to come up the stairs—he’s already coming up the stairs.

    Fuck. She misread this entirely.

    -x-

    Rose, Sveta, and David on Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. All set to Noah Kahan's "The Great Divide."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,186
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    1,108
    Bookmarks:
    202
    Hits:
    5,728

    09 May 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    10,228
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1,241

    09 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    2 parts

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    “Maybe—maybe Lily is sleeping,” she says. Bargaining, she realizes numbly. She’s bargaining for more time. And for whatever is unfolding here to stop unfolding and in fact fold itself back up. Her thumb shifts away from the call button. “And you should be sleeping too, mister.”

    “He’s not sleeping.” Shane flares his nostrils—another gesture Yuna hasn’t seen in so many years. “He’s waiting for me to call a third time. Mom. Please. He’s—he’ll be so worried.”

    Yuna shifts her thumb and lets it drop. Is Yuna a bad mother if she hopes "Lily" doesn’t pick up?

    -x-

    or: Shane needs to call someone the night he's laid out by Marlow, and Yuna reflects on her quietly, obsessively devoted son.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,864
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    548
    Kudos:
    19,764
    Bookmarks:
    2,795
    Hits:
    133,376

    09 May 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    He drives to the airport with an unshakeable urge to pull over and turn around. He smokes four cigarettes in a row before he boards the plane, then chews an entire pack of gum on the flight to try and cover the worst of the smell.

    He exits the airport half-hoping that Shane has chickened out of the whole thing. Then he spots him, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel in the most boring suburban dad car Ilya has ever had the misfortune of laying his eyes on, and he’s so happy to see him that his legs feel unsteady beneath his weight.

    --

    Or, the cottage, Ilya's version: an extended ep 6 featuring my take on what happened in the gaps we didn't see.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,009
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    371
    Kudos:
    11,313
    Bookmarks:
    2,784
    Hits:
    109,779

    09 May 2026

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