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  1. Tags
    Summary

    At the 2017 All Star Weekend, Ilya takes fate into his own hands to produce at least one out MLH player by the end of the season. Thus begins his part-time side hustle as community organizer, mastermind, and Commander-in-Chief of the Gay Hockey Army.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    147,499
    Chapters:
    37/?
    Collections:
    28
    Comments:
    15,941
    Kudos:
    14,391
    Bookmarks:
    4,723
    Hits:
    514,424
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander and Troy Barrett have never really met.

    According to a deeply unqualified group of friends, teammates, and one extremely overconfident instigator, this is an opportunity.

    A group chat is created.

    This is a bad idea.

    Ilya and Harris are not happy.

    OR: The Metros, Centaurs, and Admirals hatch a plan to get Shane and Troy to hook up. And they're all idiots.

    OR OR: Scott Hunter is a chaos magnet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,219
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    284
    Kudos:
    1,464
    Bookmarks:
    311
    Hits:
    30,716
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Ilya is plummeting to his death when he closes his eyes, heart full of regret.

    When he opens them in what feels like just a second later, he is standing outside a rink in Regina, Saskatchewan. There’s a banner on the building across the street:

    World Junior Hockey Championship 2009.

    What?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,896
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Collections:
    31
    Comments:
    8,539
    Kudos:
    32,330
    Bookmarks:
    11,884
    Hits:
    1,087,332
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “We’ve made a trade,” Coach announces. “For Shane Hollander.”

    It’s like the ground drops out from beneath Ilya, and his heart falls from his chest. It tumbles past rock bottom, down to the cavern that shattered open inside of him on that night five years ago. The night when Ilya walked away from Hollander for the last time.

    He can’t breathe.

    (Or: Shane doesn’t get hurt, they break up, and they don’t talk for five long years. Until Shane is traded to Ottawa.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,904
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    1,807
    Kudos:
    22,056
    Bookmarks:
    5,899
    Hits:
    211,696
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “I told you. Hollander and I, we are in love. He is my hockey player.” Ilya wiggled his eyebrows at the joke, but couldn’t keep himself from watching Scott Hunter.
    “Sure, Roz. You and Hollander are in love, want to get married, spend the rest of your lives playing hockey together.” When Ilya didn’t immediately reply to that very accurate statement, Hunter continued: “If you two are in love, I’m straight. That’s how likely that is.” He had laughed and skated away, though Ilya really hadn’t understood what was supposed to be funny about that.
    Standing alone on the ice, the crowd slowly filing out of the rink, Ilya was faced with a startling realization: telling people may be harder than he thought.
    or
    What if Shane gave Ilya permission to soft launch their relationship. Ilya is, of course, thrilled and immediately starts telling everyone around him. Problem is, no one believes him!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,470
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    18
    Comments:
    2,157
    Kudos:
    31,121
    Bookmarks:
    5,140
    Hits:
    326,919
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander works at a coffee shop, plays hockey, keeps his head down, and doesn’t ask questions he doesn’t need the answers to.

    So when a new regular starts showing up—quiet, watchful, Russian-accented, and conducting invitation-only meetings in the back—Shane notices. When that same man takes an unsettling interest in Shane’s closing shifts, his routines, and his safety, Shane does what feels sensible: he adjusts his behavior and keeps his mouth shut.

    Ilya Rozanov orders an Americano. He reads, but only in Russian. He worries when people work late alone.

    They are operating with very different definitions of danger.

    If he didn’t ask questions, he couldn’t be lied to.

    The rules were simple.

    1. Do not ask questions you don’t need the answer to.
    2. Do not share personal information freely.
    3. Do not be alone with Ilya Rozanov.
    4. Do not give him a reason to think you’re afraid.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,777
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1,677
    Kudos:
    8,262
    Bookmarks:
    2,798
    Hits:
    221,562
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Wow, this is absolutely stunning.”
    “I bet you say that to all the houses.” Ilya teased, shifting past him and moving back to his target: coffee.
    Stevie’s laugh was bright, “Sometimes, yes. But that is also one of the perks of the job. Getting to see so many beautiful houses. You had this designed, yes?”
    Ilya pushed the button for a flat white before he turned. “Yes. With my partner. He is much more into the whole real estate thing than I.”
    At those words, as if summoned, Shane appeared at the top of the stairs, a vibrating Anya at his side.
    Or
    Ilya gets invited to film a Youtube Video for Architectural Digest for his house in Ottawa and he decides not to hide the fact that someone else also lives here in the off season. He could have warned the camera team beforehand, but that would have taken all the fun out of the reveal.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,123
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    563
    Kudos:
    17,054
    Bookmarks:
    1,948
    Hits:
    101,742
  8. Tags
    Summary

    He wasn’t ready for this.

    Maybe he never would have been, not in two, or five, or ten years. Maybe he would have spent the rest of his life holding this secret inside, not telling a single soul about the way his heart beats for his biggest rival. Or maybe, in a year or ten or once he’s retired, he might have come out publicly. Might have shared his truth with the world.

    But that was supposed to be his choice. To tell or not to tell, to hide in the shade or step out into the sunshine. It was supposed to be his decision, and now it’s been taken from him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    416
    Kudos:
    11,154
    Bookmarks:
    2,238
    Hits:
    90,943
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A little frantic, she grabbed a knife off the chopping block. Yes, she was aware this was a somewhat dramatic reaction to what she was sure was just her son cancelling his plans, but she wasn't going to find out empty handed like a fool from some budget slasher movie.

    She yanked open the door to find… Ilya Rozanov?

    He was naked.

    She screamed.

    “Ah!” Rozanov screamed back, grabbing a pillow from the bed and holding it to his crotch. “Blyat!”

    Ilya Rozanov was in Shane’s bedroom. In Shane's apartment. Naked. Wearing nothing. Naked.

    “Err-“ Rozanov broke the silence.

    “Erm-” Yuna repeated, suddenly feeling flustered.

    Burglars she could handle. Ilya Rozanov naked? Not so much.

    (yuna goes to shane's apartment and gets the shock of her life)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,002
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    801
    Kudos:
    22,284
    Bookmarks:
    2,300
    Hits:
    139,591
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander is too much of a nosy bitch to go years with a Russian situationship and not learn a little Russian. And I think the post-tuna melt conversation would have gone quite differently if he had.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,291
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    1,388
    Bookmarks:
    307
    Hits:
    7,491
  11. Tags
    Summary

    After a moment, Hayden pulls back. Then he hands her the phone—Shane’s phone.

    “I grabbed this when I was getting his stuff and I saw, well.”

    He looks away from Yuna, briefly glances at David, then looks away from him too. There’s an oddly guilty look on his face that has Yuna suspicious at once.

    “Um, has Shane told you guys about Lily?”

    --

    AKA, Yuna and David find out about Lily, Shane’s... girlfriend?, while he's in the hospital. It's a while before they find out about Ilya.

    Featuring:
    - high Shane
    - Ilya angst
    - theories about who Lily could be
    - Yuna & "Lily" texting
    - identity shenanigans

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,720
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    17
    Comments:
    2,803
    Kudos:
    24,084
    Bookmarks:
    5,085
    Hits:
    289,490
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “Shane?” Ilya asks again. “What happened?” His gloveless hand twitches and he lifts it a fraction of an inch towards Shane.

    Shane tosses his own gloves to the ice and reaches forward, lacing their fingers together. “You took a bad hit,” he says, gritting his teeth against the fear clawing at his guts. “Flipped headfirst into the ice. Are you okay?”

    Ilya groans in answer and squeezes his hand, though Shane can't tell if he meant to do that or not.

    Suddenly, there are people all around them. Shane shifts protectively close before he realizes it’s the medical team.

    “Hollander, get back to your bench,” someone says, but there’s no way Shane’s going. Even if he wanted to, Ilya’s gripping his hand like a lifeline, eyes finally locked on Shane’s face. Shane isn’t leaving him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,263
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    1,084
    Kudos:
    25,153
    Bookmarks:
    4,523
    Hits:
    189,924
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "I am flirting with you," Ilya said. "I have been flirting with you for literal months. Intentionally."

    Shane stared at him.

    "I like you," he said. "Romantically. I have for a long time - "

    "Wait," Shane interrupted. "You were being serious?"

    Ilya has a plan. It involves flirting, proximity, dates-that-aren’t-dates, strategic jealousy, and an unreasonable amount of patience.

    Shane does not notice any of it.

    Or: Five times Shane completely misses the signs of seduction, and the one-time Ilya stops being subtle.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,394
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    162
    Kudos:
    5,014
    Bookmarks:
    650
    Hits:
    31,680
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m sorry, but my answer is no. Someone else might be willing to switch if you ask.”

    “I can’t believe—this is unacceptable! I’m going to call the flight attendant over and get this sorted out right now!”

    Flustered and cornered, Shane injects his Captain Voice into the conversation. “Ma’am, I understand that you’re upset, but I paid for this seat and am going to stay here. You’ll have to find someone else willing to change places or just fly with the seat you booked. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.”

    She hisses like a goddamn tea kettle, and starts to say, “You are the most selfish man I’ve ever—” when another voice behind her says, “You are blocking my seat. Move.”

    Shane and the woman turn to assess the new arrival. It turns out that his seat partner is well above six feet tall, ripped as hell, and knows how to deliver an excellent bitch face. He’s also the hottest man that Shane has ever seen in real life, including a chance run-in with Jensen Ackles at a Stars game.

    Or, still!famous Shane meets non!famous Ilya on a cursed flight from Ottawa to Boston and kind of (totally) falls in love with him at first sight (and first chirp)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,624
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    522
    Kudos:
    17,719
    Bookmarks:
    3,958
    Hits:
    141,652
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “Say something.” Ilya asks “in Russian. For me.”

    Then softly, carefully, he does. “Я всё ещё скучный.“ I’m still boring. He tried to add humour to it. But he doesn’t know if it reached.

    Still, Ilya's breath catches.“Oh.” He says like he’s just been handed something precious. “You’re perfect.”

    Or, Shane had been learning Russian the whole time.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,269
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    277
    Kudos:
    9,397
    Bookmarks:
    1,856
    Hits:
    72,257
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “Ilya?” Shane said in that same dreamy, loopy voice as that morning. Ilya exhaled in a rush.

    “Shane,” he said, and wanted to sag against the glass with relief. “What happened? Is something wrong?”

    “Not! Any moooooooore.”

    Ilya swallowed. Shane hadn’t gotten any quieter in the past seven hours.

    “Why are you calling me? You need to be resting,” he said, and it sounded softer than he’d meant it to.

    “I forgot to tell you something. Important.

    “You should not be telling me anything, you should be—”

    “My cottage has really good water pressure,” Shane announced.

    Ilya stared out the window while a small plane taxied past.

    “What?”

    ——————

    Shane's cottage has a lot of amenities, and he needs to tell Ilya about all of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,917
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    563
    Kudos:
    16,902
    Bookmarks:
    2,820
    Hits:
    93,320
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Shane and Ilya's relationship is the best kept secret in all of professional hockey. That is, until an ill-fated Christmas party brings it all crashing down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,049
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    429
    Kudos:
    10,504
    Bookmarks:
    1,883
    Hits:
    69,997
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “So,” Ilya says, dragging the word out. He’s swiping at non-existent crumbs on the counter, avoiding his eyes. “You have dinner at parents on Christmas, yes?” 

    “Yeah.” 

    Ilya nods. “I can house-sit while you are away. Make place pretty, if you have decorations. Make it less boring.” 

    Shane’s eyebrows fly up. “What? You don’t want to come with?” 

    Finally, Ilya looks up at him. Hesitantly, he asks, “You want me to come with?” 

    Frowning, Shane says, “I– yeah. Yeah, of course. You think I invited you here just so you could spend Christmas alone?” 

    Looking away, Ilya shrugs. “I am intruder here, Hollander. You have family. I do not. Makes situation… difficult, maybe. You forget the world thinks we are rivals.” 

    “Not difficult,” Shane says immediately. “You want to come, you’re coming.” 

    Or: Ilya's in Montreal alone during the week leading up to the Winter Classic. Shane doesn't let him spend Christmas alone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,611
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    20
    Comments:
    756
    Kudos:
    29,687
    Bookmarks:
    7,694
    Hits:
    302,122
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Rozanov glanced at Shane's phone screen, reading the top notification. Then his mouth curved. “Duolingo, huh? So fucking boring, Hollander.”

    Shane’s face went hot. “Yeah,” he said. “Learning French.”

    Rozanov’s eyes snapped to his. The smirk deepened. “Bad liar, Hollander. You are fluent.”

     

    or - Ilya finds out that Shane has been learning Russian behind his back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,280
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    211
    Kudos:
    13,768
    Bookmarks:
    2,413
    Hits:
    107,861
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Four times Shane wears something that belongs to Ilya, quietly and in private. Plus one time Ilya does the same, and everyone at Centaurs practice definitely notices.

    Takes place during The Long Game, when their relationship is still secret.

    Featuring: A sweatshirt, socks, Irina Rozanov's cross necklace, an Ottawa Centaurs hat, and a Montreal Voyageurs shirt.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,826
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    327
    Kudos:
    12,352
    Bookmarks:
    1,734
    Hits:
    76,893

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