1 - 20 of 447 Bookmarks by patchwork_blatherskite
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Crowley intends for her afternoon spent posing as a nude art model to be the key to racking up a pile of souls for her bosses.
Until she meets the instructor—Mrs. Fell.
As it turns out, Mrs. Fell is an excellent teacher—both of art, and of other pursuits.
Series
- Part 2 of Physiology Lessons
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
21 Jun 2026
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bottle the feeling you give me (shelve that stuff for years to come) by twinkalynx
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
19 Sep 2023
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Summary
When they’ve all achieved their dreams, Sanji gets married. Zoro, unable to stay away, orbits his happy little family for damn near a decade.
Based on @gaypiratehell’s unrequitedAU.
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
06 May 2026
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Piracy is dead, or so they say. A year on from the destruction of the Republic, Prince Ricky’s campaign to wipe out every last pirate in the Caribbean has been all but won. Against all odds, the Revenge is still sailing on, but every day it becomes harder to deny that the life Izzy has always known is crumbling around him.
Meanwhile, Ed and Stede are still safely hidden in the eye of the storm, cut off from the rest of the world by a Navy blockade. Ed is thriving in retirement, and Stede — well, Stede’s just happy that Ed is happy. And if he’s had to tell himself that more and more as the months have dragged on without any word from Izzy and the crew, that’s neither here nor there.
When the Revenge’s luck finally runs out, Izzy is forced to go to ground. Ed and Stede might be able to offer the safe harbour he needs, but is there really space for him in their new, quiet life? Does Izzy have it in him to be anything but a pirate?
(AKA, the first five days after Izzy comes back from the Revenge)
Series
- Part 7 of Coax You Out
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
31 Mar 2026
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Summary
New at his office job, Stede hears tapping on the other side of the wall...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,195
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 20
- Bookmarks:
- 1
- Hits:
- 79
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
13 Jan 2026
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your kiss and i will surrender by vampiratecore for Tired_Lazarus
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
28 Dec 2025
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Summary
To be honest, Ed was surprised by Izzy’s insistence on her learning the proper techniques in the first place, feeling more like a navy recruit than a bloodthirsty pirate. She was kind of relieved to know there was more to Izzy’s skill she was willing to share than just the boring drills Ed could’ve gotten by sneaking into a posh boarding school’s gymnasium.
“What’s the difference, then? How do I really fight?” Ed threw the waterskin onto a pile of coiled ropes next to the mast. She shook her hands out again. “What’s your big secret, Izzy Hands?”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,578
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 5
- Kudos:
- 13
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 105
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
29 Dec 2025
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Best-Kept Secrets by redwinterbloom (poetforthefallen)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
27 Oct 2025
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Summary
The prison cell smelled like an omega.
Which was completely impossible. The only people here were the crew of The Revenge, and even Lucius knew that you didn’t sail with anything except betas.
Evidently, whoever it was had put a lot of effort into hiding it.
In which Izzy, Edward, and Stede scandalize the English Navy with six impossible things before breakfast, and Lucius learns the best-kept secret of the Caribbean.
Or, putting the “non-traditional” in “non-traditional alpha/beta/omega dynamics.”
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
25 Dec 2025
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Summary
They're on the run, post the Republic, but they're happy. They're together. They have their crew. There's nothing that Ed and Stede want, except…
In the sticky cooldown, Ed says, hesitantly, “Do we want to talk about the Izzy thing?”
“What?” Stede says, because his brain is thrumming pleasantly and it takes him a second to process Ed’s words.
Then, “No.” A quick denial, heart thudding. “What thi—“ Then stops. “No.”
“Stede.”
Stede and Ed want Izzy, but they want to do it properly. As he deserves. A 5+1 of Georgian courting rituals: Five Times Ed and Stede Court Izzy, and One Time He Courts Back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,491
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 160
- Kudos:
- 183
- Bookmarks:
- 29
- Hits:
- 2,186
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
12 Dec 2025
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case #0171210: siren's call by florence_after_midnight, Hyaha
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
31 Oct 2025
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Summary
Statement of Edward Teach, regarding some behavioural changes in his husband.
Izzy was looking out at the sea, and this time, it looked… painful. His neck was bent at this angle—not unnatural, that wasn’t it, but it looked like the sort of position that’d give you a stiff neck if you kept it up for too long. And he’s in his fifties, so… His hands, too, were still hovering above the keyboard. Like he was frozen mid-motion. Like someone took a photo of him and he just stayed that way.
Looking back, I’m not sure he was even breathing.Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
11 Nov 2025
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Summary
The thing was, right, that "could be" in a hypothetical sense was different than "could be" in real life. Hypothetically, sure: Izzy had one set of bits, Ed and Stede had another. Sometimes, hypothetically, you put those bits together and, given time to cook, the end result was a tiny little squalling human. But hypothetically was different than real life, because Ed and Iz had been fucking since they found out what fucking was. In all that time they’d never, not once, ended up with a baby.
I hate the "unplanned pregnancy heals the relationship" trope. This fic is about that.
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
10 Nov 2025
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Summary
Owing a favor, Izzy Hands, formerly of the band Queen Anne’s Revenge, goes on a podcast.
Series
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
10 Nov 2025
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Summary
God, Ed was obsessed with that voice. Wanted to rub it all over himself, to drink it, to drown in it. To take it apart and see what it was made out of. He wondered if Izzy understood that when they sang together they were touching - voice to voice, from lungs to throat to air.
In the run-up to Calypso's party, things are tense on the Revenge. Stede is still learning how to be a captain, and a pirate. The crew don't trust him, and they certainly don't trust Ed Teach. The relationship between Izzy and Edward is strained by what they've been through, for all that Izzy and Stede are growing friendlier the more time they spend training. Ed's doing his best to make amends - to Izzy, to the ship, to everyone - and to sort his head out, but it's not easy. Meanwhile Stede and Ed are taking things slow, finding their way on shaky new ground.
While trying to work out how to fix all the things he's broken, Stede ends up asking about how Izzy and Ed met. Separately, the two of them tell him a story about pubs and pirates, about marriages and villains, shanties and sea battles, and of the Republic of Pirates itself. And for Stede, it changes everything.
With original songs by Doll_After_Dark!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,024
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 120
- Kudos:
- 166
- Bookmarks:
- 66
- Hits:
- 3,185
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
04 Sep 2025
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Summary
“I swore to protect Edward. Fucked that right up.”
“Could be you were protecting him from the wrong things. Try better next time.”
Izzy snorts. There won’t be a next time.
(Izzy Hands ends up in a time loop, grows as a person, and gets what he needs)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,719
- Chapters:
- 12/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 349
- Kudos:
- 774
- Bookmarks:
- 154
- Hits:
- 11,050
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
03 Sep 2025
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Summary
“I don’t have a husband,” Izzy says. “You've got the wrong patient.”
“No,” the nurse says, “It was the number listed as your emergency contact. He said he’ll be here in fifteen minutes. A Stede Bonnet?”
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
03 Sep 2025
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Summary
Since returning to piracy, Stede has found and intercepted The Revenge, putting a stop to the crew's downward spiral before loss of life or limb. Restoring peace hasn't been so simple.
Ed and Izzy are fighting and its everybody's problem. But mostly Stede's.
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
02 Sep 2025
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Summary
A little rewrite of S01E03, "A Gentleman Pirate", for fun.
What would've happened if Stede had taken up Izzy's invitation to meet Blackbeard. Spoiler: Izzy has a much worse night.
This fic is now complete!
Mind the tags.
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
02 Sep 2025
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Pokemon Anxiety and Depression by Word_Devourer
Fandoms: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
11 Nov 2022
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Summary
It's two weeks before rent is due, and I don't have a job. All I have to work with are 2000₽ and a trubbish that moved in because I never remember to take out my trash.
She is a cute trubbish, though.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,020
- Chapters:
- 42/42
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 862
- Kudos:
- 936
- Bookmarks:
- 320
- Hits:
- 17,609
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
13 Jun 2025
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3am at St Hubert’s Hospital for Nonhuman Beings by dinoromance89
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
16 Feb 2025
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Summary
“Yeah, thanks Doc. I know what a Succubus is. I’ll see what I can do to, uh… help.”
“Alright, then. Very good.” Doctor Bonnet’s face cracks into a relieved smile. Then Jack is left all alone at the front desk, his only company an unconscious guy who allegedly needs to be filled with human spunk to survive. Jack is already so done with this fucking night shift.Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
26 Feb 2025
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Summary
Ed buys a strange painting for Izzy as an apology gift for an anniversary gone wrong. Neither of them is prepared for how this painting in particular would change their lives forever.
or
Stede has been trapped in a painting for three hundred years and is surprised to reawaken in a room with two very oddly familiar faces. How is he meant to recover his memory? ...and what the actual fuck is a 'car?'
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
08 Feb 2025
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Summary
“Jack says there’s a whore in town who’ll let you put your whole fist in her cunt if you pay her extra.”
“The fuck’s the use in that?”
Edward’s eyes are bright, the way they always are when something’s really captured his imagination, “Don’t you think it sounds cool? Having your entire hand in there?”
“I always thought the point of paying for a whore was to stick your dick in there,” Izzy says.
“I guess,” Edward shrugs. Then, casually, he adds, “You think your cunt could fit a whole fist?”
“For fuck’s sake, Edward.”
Izzy’s known Edward for barely a year and a half, but he’s already pretty sure he’d follow the man off a cliff if he asked. So when Edward gets an idea in his head, what is there to do but go along with it?
Series
- Part 1 of Linger
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
08 Jan 2025
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Summary
Lucius was good at breakups. The ‘bitch session, eat ice cream, get a makeover’ technique had never failed him.
But so far, he was proving fucking awful at divorces.
...
After Ed and Izzy's divorce, Lucius takes Izzy on a trip to IKEA.
Written for Izzy Hands Bingo 2024 prompts of Lucius, hand-holding, shark, hurt/comfort
Series
- Part 2 of Izzy Hands Bingo 2024
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,475
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 26
- Kudos:
- 76
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 467
Bookmarked by patchwork_blatherskite
28 Aug 2024