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The Two-Body Problem by GayPirateAficionado, PolitestMenace (GayPirateAficionado)
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
24 Jun 2026
Summary
Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet are professors in different fields. And, when they meet, there’s only one bed.
- Words:
- 96,344
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 57
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
24 Jun 2026
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Summary
“Very well.” He nodded his head, eyes still trained on the odd man in front of him. “You will address me as Mr. Hands or Sir. You will be at my mercy for the next hour, if you need me to stop say the word ‘Lighthouse’. I will not stop otherwise, no matter how much you plead with me. Understood?”
“Yes, Sir.”
OR
A Brothel!AU nobody asked for ft Dom IzzySeries
- Part 1 of OFMD Brothel!AU
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
24 Jun 2026
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- Words:
- 71,909
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
24 Jun 2026
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Summary
Frenchie is ready to come out to the rest of the crew as aroace. Which is a bit daunting when 1) you're the captain of the nonstop knocking shop, and 2) you don't know the words "asexual," "aromantic," or "aroace."
Happy Pride!
Series
- Part 8 of Post-Canon OFMD Fics
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
24 Jun 2026
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Summary
Stede Bonnet, also known as Mr. Stede, has been instrumental in helping single father Ed and his daughter Annie through illness, bad days, and father-daughter time. Then Ed meets Mr. Stede at a book signing and...
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
09 May 2026
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Izzy Hands was once a leading shark expert. An accident took that away from him in a matter of minutes. Now, he's just trying to live his life when he's connected with Stede Bonnet, a biologist doing a kids' show for Shark Week.
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
05 May 2026
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Summary
Stede returns to Edward's hometown to meet his mother and participate in the Christmas scavenger hunt she signed them up for. When Edward can't make it, a grumpy seeming man called Izzy reluctantly offers his help.
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
23 Feb 2026
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Summary
A soft Steddyhands series that diverges from canon midway through season two and goes on an exploration of Ed, Stede, and Izzy's relationship to each other, to their past, and what it means to change.
- Words:
- 136,591
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 30
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
19 Feb 2026
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Smells like trouble and Banana Bread. by IMNOTREALLYHERE, WarmBlanket433 (IMNOTREALLYHERE)
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
06 Feb 2026
Summary
Izzy Hands is angry, hurting, and barely holding it together. He doesn’t want help, doesn’t trust kindness, and definitely didn’t mean to catch feelings. But healing doesn’t ask permission, and neither does love. A slow descent into softness—dragged there kicking and screaming, one scar at a time.
- Words:
- 66,051
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 8
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
19 Feb 2026
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Summary
The following preview has been approved for mature audiences:
A fluffy healing romantic wing-fic where our favorite angel and demon go deep inside each other’s emotions and connect in ways they didn't know were possible.Narrator:
Inception-style intimacy on three planes of existence.
Time and space works different in each plane as they connect.
LOTS OF FLUFF. And wing preening. And True Forms connecting.Tagline:
Who says ethereal beings do it like we do?Romantic music plays over the following sequence:
Crowley and Aziraphale share a long overdue, admittedly awkward kiss.
Aziraphale: I assumed, that as a demon, that you would, well, be familiar with the desires of the flesh...
Crowley: ...not as such.Screen fades to black:
"Dream within a Dream" Available on Ao3 as Soon as Each Chapter is Ready. Expect the final chapter after S3 premieres.Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
18 Dec 2025
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- Words:
- 82,558
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 3
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
08 Dec 2025
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Summary
Stede Bonnet is a widower who runs a cryptid-themed bookshop café. Ed Teach owns a biker bar with bad lighting and worse jukebox choices.
They meet. It’s weird. It’s electric. Neither of them knows what they’re doing.
Stede’s teenagers want him to be happy. His crew just wants him to get laid. Ed’s trying very hard not to fall for a man who wears Nessie print button-ups and thinks moths are romantic.
A slow burn about unexpected connection, late-night texts, too many feelings, and the messiness of figuring it out—one whiskey pour and Bigfoot latte at a time.
Series
- Part 1 of Kraken & Quill
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
07 Dec 2025
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Series
- Part 6 of Our Flag Means Omegaverse
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
23 Nov 2025
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Summary
Stede always despised ruts. He hates what they turn him into: a feral alpha driven by lust to take control and fuck. Stede doesn’t like that; he’d rather let an omega take control of him. So when Stede’s rut hits suddenly, Lucius suggests a hire service.
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
03 Nov 2025
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Summary
Stede is very happy as he heads to shore leave. He's in need of some new clothes due to the growing condition of carrying Izzy's baby. Everything is going well until his old lover finds him.
Series
- Part 3 of You're Having My Baby
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
03 Nov 2025
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Summary
“Did you mean it?” And when he speaks this time, for a moment, for a shiver, Edward almost looks afraid. “Your Oath?”
It’s a strange question. Does the tide mean to follow the moon? Oaths. They were supposed to be choices, weren’t they? That’s why they mattered, that’s what made them their own kind of magic? Because you Chose. But this had never felt like a choice. Izzy doesn’t think the tide has a choice either. That doesn’t make it love the moon any less.
“I meant it.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,393
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 61
- Kudos:
- 227
- Bookmarks:
- 48
- Hits:
- 2,461
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
26 Sep 2025
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Summary
After presenting as an omega, Stede gets shipped off to finishing school to be molded into a perfect omega mate. Stede’s father arranges him to an alpha mate, but those plans fall through when pirates kidnap Stede.
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
23 Sep 2025
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shameful company by wyldefire for ResidentHimboCongar
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
05 Aug 2025
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Summary
He knew that it was foolish, really. Stede had already abandoned all that had ever meant anything to his good Catholic upbringing. He'd left his wife and children in favor of the high seas, had broken his marriage vows in favor of another man. Any God left to damn him already would have done it long before this. Surrendering to his own biological impulses, engaging in such holy acts as this, how could it truly be considered a sin?
The ropes and chains bit across his wrists, at his thighs, at his ankles. He'd begged for them to be placed there, clinging to his gods and his traditions as the fog of fever threatened to take what was left of his mind. But as the only God that he'd ever truly cared to worship answered his begging prayer, he wondered what it might be like to abandon such divine rites.
"Stede," Ed huffed breathlessly, dragging the iron door open as he fell to his knees before the bound omega. "Stede, please sweetheart, you've got to let me help you. You sound like hell, love."
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
23 Sep 2025
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Summary
Stede Bonnet had been a disappointment to his father until the day he had presented as an alpha.
Then, he had become a disappointment only to himself.Or
Stede bonnet has a complicated relationship with being an alpha. So at the first opportunity he starts presenting as an omega.
Stede bonnet hates his stuffy old life. So at the first opportunity he takes the chance and becomes a pirate, the first omega to last a week as a pirate captain.
Stede bonnet has no clue that these decisions would lead to him meeting the loves of his life, and potentially dying to one of their swords.
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
21 Sep 2025
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Summary
When Stede has to go to one of Alma’s baseball games, Izzy volunteers to watch Louis.
Izzy has never watched a kid alone before, he’s never actually been alone with Stede’s son before.
Louis has been mostly nonverbal his whole life, only echoing words he’d heard recently. Izzy had never heard his voice, until tonight.
Bookmarked by Fierce_Sloth
19 Sep 2025