JoanieTeal
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“There, settled,” said Nicky. “We will just have a whirlwind Maltese romance, get married, and all our problems will be solved.”
“Of course,” said Joe. “But then, we might find ourselves with a whole set of new ones.”
“Ah well, show me a life without problems and I will show you a false façade,” said Nicky.
Within 48 hours of Nicky and Joe meeting, they come up with a plan that will allow Joe to get citizenship in Europe so he can become an artist, and give Nicky what he needs to leave the priesthood and become a nurse: a fake marriage.
Which would be much simpler if Joe hadn't somehow already managed to fall in love with Nicky.
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[Podfic] With Tenderness and Nobleness by JoanieTeal
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
04 Mar 2025
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After the conquest of Redania, Aleksander of Velen comes to Kaer Morhen. He's not sure what his place is there - or even if he truly has a place - and the culture of the keep comes as a great shock. But he has nowhere else to go, and with luck, friends, and the help of a very handsome Cat, maybe he will be able to make himself at home. He hopes. All he needs to do is not offend anyone or reveal his shameful weakness, right?
Aiden of the Cats has no idea why the keep's new nobleman is so fascinating, but he's definitely not going to pass up any opportunity to find out. If only Aleksander would trust him enough to share his burdens.
And Aren of the Manticores and his four Mantikittens are slowly adjusting to the idea of being in a place of safety at last.
Series
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Morvran Gets a Goose Trick by JoanieTeal
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
08 Aug 2024
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Unfortunately, Morvran has not yet heard of Ciri's infamous goose tricks.
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[Podfic] Flung to Catch a Star by JoanieTeal
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
08 Aug 2024
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Morvran Voorhis, first-ranked prince of Nilfgaard, has been sent to Kaer Morhen on a diplomatic mission. His tasks are twofold: first, negotiate a nonaggression treaty between the wild barbarian Warlord of the North and the Nilfgaardian Empire. And second, ingratiate himself with the mysterious Warlord’s daughter and heir apparent, Princess Cirilla.
Sir Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach, a Vicovaran knight, has been assigned to protect young Prince Voorhis on this mission. Prince Voorhis may be the best of a bad lot, but Cahir’s still not looking forward to the threats or the temperature of a winter in the distant North.
They both know their mission is a dangerous one. But they don’t know where the true danger lies…and while they know how to navigate Nilfgaard’s treacherous court, they are not prepared for Kaer Morhen. This is a mission they might not survive…and if they do, they might be changed beyond all recognition.
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[Podfic] Found At Last In Meeting Eyes by JoanieTeal
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
24 Jun 2024
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Marika de Roggeven needs to get out of Redania, away from the disgrace her family has become.
Griffin, newly king of Temeria, needs a wife who knows how to run a country.
Jaskier gets to play matchmaker, and turns out to be very good at it indeed.
Series
Recent series
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The Accidental Warlord and His Pack [Podfic], in no particular order by JoanieTeal
Fandom Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
04 Mar 2025
- Words:
- 43
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 15
Recent bookmarks
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You Said, We Said by OtherWaysHome
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
24 Feb 2026
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@HarveySmth76:
So, Dallas Kent's teammate just tweeted this:Rozanov isn’t any better, though. Like we all know it. Dude's banged like a thousand women. Bet if even just a few of them talked, you'd all be shutting up about Kent pretty quick.
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Dallas Kent’s teammate makes a bigoted assumption. A very loud, very incorrect assumption. Twitter eats him alive.
Because, yes, Rozanov has slept with a lot of women and they have a lot to say. About consent and check-ins and that accent.
#OkIWillTalk is trending, as is #SexGodOfTwitter. Toronto Survivor's Legal Fund is finally gaining some traction. And Ilya is definitely going to punch Kent. Again.
Told through twitter snapshots and extracts from the Ottawa Centaurs Group Chat.
Bookmarked by JoanieTeal
02 Mar 2026
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02 Jan 2026
- Words:
- 93,500
- Works:
- 73
- Bookmarks:
- 10
Bookmarked by JoanieTeal
28 Feb 2026
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The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed.
Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.
Reentry is harder than expected.
Series
- Part 8 of my heated rivalry anon fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,174
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,829
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- 9,184
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- 3,656
- Hits:
- 123,729
Bookmarked by JoanieTeal
18 Feb 2026
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Grady v. Rozanov by Pickle_Chips
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
10 Feb 2026
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“Mm, not stuff his pockets with the drug everyone thinks makes you gay right before a press conference? Maybe!” Ilya’s voice chimed happily from the phone.
“You wanna tell us why you’re so acquainted with Rush that you can identify it in 780p, Ilya?” Kip asked.
“…I have so much leather to deodorize, Kip Grady. So many sports cars, you know.”
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Kip can't believe no one else can tell how outrageously gay Ilya Rozanov is, but he's not complaining, he's happy to have someone else to talk to at all the hockey functions.
Or: Perfect gaydar haver Ilya Rozanov finally gets a taste of his own medicine. A series of looks into Kip and Ilya's friendship, starting after the cottage.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,910
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 656
- Kudos:
- 6,755
- Bookmarks:
- 1,946
- Hits:
- 42,016
Bookmarked by JoanieTeal
18 Feb 2026
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Summary
"Jack!" Eric bounces on his toes and smacks at Jack's arms, startling him. "Hire me for the summer!"
Jack squints at him. "What?"
"Let me be your nanny for the first couple months! I'll have to go home for a couple weeks to make my parents happy, but you said your parents'll be helping out, so I can schedule it when it works for them to be there. I know you'll have to hire someone new when the school year starts, but I think you'll be a lot happier havin' someone you know around at first instead of some stranger. Newborns are such a handful to begin with, but I know how to deal with them, I swear."
When Camilla gets pregnant from a one-time hookup at the start of Jack's senior year, he decides to keep the baby.
This changes the course of Bitty's life.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,024
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 551
- Kudos:
- 1,139
- Bookmarks:
- 303
- Hits:
- 22,070
Bookmarked by JoanieTeal
02 Sep 2025